Three ways to lessen fear

     You know what's really beautiful about fear? Perfect love casts it out. 
     The theme of my blog post this week is about fear. Some days I have none, and other days, I seem so consumed with it that it paralyzes my everyday tasks. 
     If you have fears a lot, or even occasionally, you are in good company. Even some of the most courageous heroes of the Bible had moments of hesitation and chances to overcome great fears, which always strengthened their faith. Fear is really an opportunity to grow closer to God.
     When I struggle with the choking squeeze of something threatening, I look to their stories to be reminded of how I can overcome. 
     Here are three ways to face fear: 
     1. Timing is everything. I love the story of Esther. I especially love how perfectly every detail is spun in time. The fact that she was fasting (and likely praying) before she made her move. Patience is often key when it comes to acting on things. Fear promulgates an irrational sort of impulsiveness. But being impetuous can cause anger, missteps and regrets. Love, on the other hand, is patient. 
     Esther had the courage to petition the king by way of a banquet for him and Haman. The king tells her that he will give her virtually anything she asks for. Yet she simply asks the king and Haman to come to another banquet the following night and then she will ask her question of the king. 
     Why didn't she just ask then? The story doesn't tell us. What a strange thing to do! Did she lose her courage? Or was she simply waiting on God's perfect timing?
     Later that night, when the king is wrestling with sleeplessness, he asks to look at the book of chronicles, a record of his reign. That is when he is reminded of the man, Mordecai, who saved King Xerxes life when he reported overhearing two guards talking about assassinating him. It was then King Xerxes realizes that nothing was done to thank or reward Mordecai. He falls asleep with a deep appreciation of the man he had forgotten to remember and a plan to right that wrong!  
     The next night, Esther reveals Haman's evil plan to destroy all Jews because of his hatred for Mordecai. 
     Can you imagine how this story would have turned out if the king didn't recall who Mordecai was? 
     God is in every detail. He is in the timing, His perfect timing. He is patient and just. 
     We can face our fears by being patient and trusting in God's timing. 
     2. Let your freak flag wave. One of my favorite lines from Shrek the Musical, letting your freak flag wave is another way of saying don't be afraid to be bold and true to yourself. 
     I wonder if Noah had any fears as he was building the ark. Will this thing float? How will the animals get on board? How will they get along? How will my family get along? Will it be done in time? Not to mention the fear of what everyone was thinking and saying about him as he built the ark. 
     The Bible is often vacant of the emotion, leaving the reader to imagine what was going through the minds of God's people. Genesis only tells us what Noah did; it doesn't reveal to us how he felt. But it doesn't take a rocket scientist to imagine that Noah was one freak-flag-waving dude. He was obedient. He trusted God, despite how strange he must have seemed to those around him. 
     One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Genesis 8:11, which inspired a beautiful mosaic that my daughter made last year of the dove carrying an olive branch in its beak. The verse simple says, "When the dove returned to him in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf! Then Noah knew that the water had receded from the earth." 
     First off, that exclamation point is a big clue. The authors in the Bible don't tend to overuse them like the author of this blog does! It was a big, hairy deal that after 40 days of non-stop raining and another 150+ days of flooding and then receding of another 40+ days there was a leaf. 
     Genesis 8:11 doesn't include the word HOPE, but in my mind, it's the theme of this verse. It's the reward for waving the freak flag. God always comes through when we are obedient to Him. The master of the universe knows what He's doing. Trusting Him = overcoming fears. 
     3. Put fear in perspective. The fears we face often seem way bigger from our limited vantage point. 
     Just think of puny David slaying Goliath. Nobody thought it could be done. The Isrealites plotted and they planned, but in the end, they chickened out. And here comes this unlikely hero, saying he will face the giant that had an army cowering like a toddler trembling under the sheets afraid of a monster under the bed.
     Then David rejects the armor and helmet and takes five smooth stones and his slingshot instead. Can you imagine? He, too, was waving a freak flag, folks! Even Goliath mocks David. But in typical limited human mind fashion, David was over prepared for the job. He only needed the one stone, which sank into Goliath's forehead and knocked him to the ground, striking him dead. 
     When I think of those things that cause me to tremble, I have to remember to trust God. He has the timing figured out. He has prepared me uniquely for the job, freaky though I might feel at times, and He has more than equipped me for the task. I'm praying next time I begin to fear, I will trust more and leave the extra four stones behind.  

Three ways to live a life of content

     Maybe it's the fact that my house is on the market and I'm at my wit's end financially and with home school. Or perhaps its that I'm constantly filled with ideas and a propensity to act boldly on them without first prayerfully considering each and every idea. Or that sometimes I pray an issue to death when I should have simply acted on, and I have an uncanny ability in 80 percent of situations to over OR under pray. Regardless of the reason or circumstances, I've been feeling like I've been living in a state of discontent. 
     The waiting room. 
     I've called it this before. It's where I sit and (God help me) pray and listen patiently (as if!) for God to answer. I'm laying it before Him and wondering if He will make the path clear. Or how long I should wait exactly before I must do something. Is it logic that's driving me or faith? I've relied of faith for so long that I'm beginning to wonder if I shouldn't just do something. I don't really want to take control away from God, but I also know God gave me a brain and skills. Logic dictates that if I'm having a struggle, I should work through it with the brains and resources He gave me. That's faith, too, right?
     It can sometimes be confusing to know just what to do, but one thing is certain. God is not a God of chaos. He beckons us into His peaceful presence, of only we will reach out and take His hand. 
     Today's blog is about three ways I can be content. 
     Content, according to the dictionary, means "in a state of peaceful happiness." Two things immediately occur to me: happiness is temporary, and to be in a state is also temporary. The dictionary defines state as "the particular condition that someone or something is in at a specific time."
     I can't say for sure, but I don't think God wants us to be content only sometimes. I think He desires for us heaping portions of contentment, because it means that even when things aren't "settled" in life, we can rely on Him to bring us peace. He also understands that we are human, and sometimes we will screw this up no matter how hard we try. 
     Here are three things that have helped me: 
     1. Count your blessings — Literally begin to write down all the things you are grateful for. My friend Jan gave me a pocket-size book that I keep in my purse. It's a place I can be intentional about the blessings that are adding up in my life. You don't need a special book, though. Keep a journal or hang up a piece of lined paper in your kitchen. Dedicate a portion of your wall and call it the "Gratitude Wall." Or, put plain paper in frames and use Dry Erase markers to write out your messages of thanksgiving every day. 
    2. Pray — Nothing makes my heart more soft than to take it to the Lord. If I'm feeling particularly unsettled or stressed out, I sit down to pray with a promise that I won't get up until my jaw isn't clenched or my shoulders are no longer tense. Whatever spot you physically experience discontentment, don't stop praying until it's no longer affected. Take deep breaths. Concentrate on the rhythm of your breathing or your heart beat while you meditate on scripture. 
     Pray whatever the Lord brings to mind. Journal your prayer. Look up scriptures that He brings to mind. Try not to be resentful of your time in prayer, because He will assuredly help you complete whatever tasks you set aside to seek Him. Trust Him. You will do more with Him than you could ever accomplish on your own in that discontented space. I speak this wisdom from experience! 
     3. Choose peace over strife — Peace really has nothing to do with how much stuff I have, whether I've paid the bills or am living debt-free. It is not related to how my kids behave or whether I've accomplished anything on my task list. Peace isn't a result of a clean house or a loving husband or what's going on around me.  
     Peace is a fruit of the spirit. So if I'm living a life filled with the love of Christ Jesus, I will find contentment. The closer I am to Him, the more I am bathing in peace. When I sometimes stray, I begin to get an uneasy spirit.
      Remember that dictionary definition of content. I think it sounds nice, but I like what Paul says about contentment in God's word. Philippians 4:11-14 is one of my favorites: 
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. 
      We all go through periods when things aren't working out in a way we want them to. Whether it's my house selling, homeschooling, ministry work, my lack of -- and need for -- a paying job. All I really need is Him who gives me strength. 
     One of my favorite worships songs lately is Cornerstone by Hillsong United. Let these words sink into your soul:


My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly trust in Jesus name

Christ alone; cornerstone
Weak made strong; in the Saviour's love
Through the storm, He is Lord
Lord of all

When Darkness seems to hide His face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil 

Three simple steps to be the smartest girl in the room

     OK, that title is a little misleading. This is actually a blog about three ways to get wisdom. Being smart and being wise are two different traits entirely. I know a lot of really smart, academic, intellectual, conversationally stimulating people. But most of them are unwise. 
     How could that be, you might ask. 
     Because God says so is the simple answer. 
     1 Corinthians 3:18-19a says, "Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become 'fools' so that you may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight." 
     So the wise are dummies, and God wants us to be fools. I have to admit... I'm still struggling with a complete understanding of this concept.
     But the older I become, the more this comes into focus. 
     I once thought: 
     I NEED A DEGREE
     I NEED A CAREER
     I NEED A SALARY
     I NEED A BIG HOUSE
     I NEED TO LOOK LIKE "HER"
     I NEED TO MAKE MORE MONEY
     and the even more embarassing ones where I subjected friends to what I thought they needed to do. Don't get me started on all the poor, unwise counsel I've doled out over the years. 
     Today, I have two degrees, no career, no salary, a big house (OK, we do live in America, but our family is in the process of downsizing so cut me a little slack!), am content to look just the way I do and well, I still want to make more money. (Just being honest!) 
     What does God's kind of wisdom look like? Here are three ways you can be a so-called fool by today's standards: 
     1. Pray. Seek a relationship with the Lord. If you haven't yet, dive into the Bible every day. Even if you don't believe it or don't like it. The truth is if you want to oppose Christians, you probably ought to know what they believe. Go right to the source. If you are saved, go deeper in your relationship. Read your Bible more. Pray more. 
     2. Find a mentor. Actually a lot of today's standards are beginning to preach this, often based on John Maxwell's books. He's also a Christian. My faith has grown tremendously because of my mentors. Just one word of warning, there can be some Christians who are not exactly looking out for your best interests. (And remember all the horrible advice I've churned out?) Be sure to line up their thoughts with the Bible, and pray to be certain. I've had even well-meaning friends give me some awful advice. Most of what I've learned from mentors wasn't so much from their advice as it was from their example and their encouragement. If you are uncertain of the kind of person your mentor is or they seem to be overly critical, you might want to pray about whether that's a healthy relationship. 
     3.  Get involved in Mighty Strong Girls. Oh my! Who saw that coming... what an awful sales pitch! Actually, the magazine that will be revealed on Sunday is all about WISDOM. We are beginning to theme our publications on the new names the girls get in the God Spa. So we will study for 10-13 weeks about what it means to be wise. If any of my female readers out there think they would like to lead a small group, we are looking to plant more Mighty Strong Connections groups in central Illinois. Women who want to come alongside girls to be available as mentors, to love on them, to help guide them to be who they were created to be in Christ Jesus. As a mom, I'm so thankful that my daughter is in one of these groups where she can explore her own identity when it comes to Biblical wisdom of body, soul and spirit. How we treat our minds, deal with our emotions, handle our physical beings and grow spiritually matters very much to God. 
     In fact, He's begging us to come to Him. James 1:5 says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." 
    Whoa! That's huge! He has a gift he wants to give to us in heaping portions, and He isn't waiting there with a laundry list of our shortcomings to hold over our heads. Nope, He just wants us to ask. Come and get it. 
     So that's the offer I extend to you. Come and get it. Find out more about Mighty Strong Girls and how you can be a part of or help start a new small group in your home or church. We will be celebrating and selling the new issue of the magazine on WISDOM at 3 p.m. Sunday at Calvary Christian Temple in the Oasis room. Hope to see you there! 

It's more than "just" a house: Beginning our Good-bye

After being strung along for a week by potential buyers of our home, we discovered that the promises of a contract were empty ones. They changed their minds, even after their realtor texted details of their offer. Even after spending three days visiting our home for more than 90 minutes each time. Even after many questions, including some fairly odd requests.

The crumbling of this sale transpired the day after we broke the news to our children that a move was impending. One of them was delighted. The other was devastated. And we spent the evening recalling our favorite memories and reminding ourselves that a house didn't make us a family any more than a community defines us.

Honestly, I was angry and offended after the emotional roller coaster came to a halt this morning. It was rude, inconsiderate and immature. 

As I stewed, several friends reminded me that it was more than likely the compassionate hand of God protecting us. There is already an even-better, perfect offer outstanding on our home from a family that knows they will love our home and treasure it as they make new memories here. It came on the third day our house was listed — just after we prayed as a family that the first showing would result in a full-price offer. All we have to do is wait. Wait for His perfect timing and pray that it works out according to His plan. He's already been so gracious to us, so it's easy to have faith — even if it comes with some topsy-turvy anxiousness at times!

I was also reminded that while a house is just a building, it's significance really can't be ignored. It has a place on our family timeline. 

Four weeks ago when I tore down the kids' artwork and all the encouragement I've kept taped to my walls so that we could "stage" our house, I was reminded of how richly blessed I am. Each "thing" I tore down broke my heart that I had to remove it, but it also restored my faith. 

Even though it was hanging there in plain sight day after day, I rarely took the chance to remember. Taking each piece down allowed me to pause and think about some things I should have been thinking about. 

* The giant "You mean the WORLD to me!" poster that Abby made when I was having a down day. She was just 9 at the time and so insightful to recognize my hurt and sadness. Without saying a word, she quietly locked herself in her room and got to work on the infamous poster where the "O" in WORLD was made into the Earth and the "R" is a different shade of blue because she initially forgot to include it. Neither of us noticed. (We aren't great spellers around here!) 

* My reminder to keep dreaming: "Spend at least 15 minutes a day in deliberate thought about something bigger than your to-do list." 

* A card signed by my colleagues at the last place I worked. The place where I quit without a plan in place but just the desire to follow where God would lead me. Reading their comments about trusting God and chasing bigger plans reminds me that the adventure I was seeking has found me in Mighty Strong Girls and homeschooling. I never would have guessed! In my hardest days (and there are many!), I can be secure in the knowledge that I am doing exactly what I set out to do — pursuing a legacy and not a salary. (I wouldn't complain if God makes a way for the latter though!)

* A copy of the "Starfish Flinger."
The Starfish Story
Original Story by: Loren Eisley
One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?” The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.” “Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!” After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said … “I made a difference for that one.”

* A card from my new dear friend Jan Koch (in her trademark red ink) that is simply awesome. She calls me one of the most amazing women she has met, a blessing and a treasure. None are things I think of myself. Everyone deserves a friend who believes in all her dreams and thinks more highly of her than she does!

* A collage Abby made for me with her favorite Mighty Strong Girls messages that have helped change her life: Love, Princess Warrior, Lovely ladies, Show your inner colors, Wonderful women, You are loved, beYOUtiful, Shine, God made you very special, Graceful girls, Jesus died for you, God is almighty.

* A note that came with the first $1,000 donation Mighty Strong Girls received. "Thank you for your positive messages to young girls and for helping them realize who they are in Christ....."

* A hand-drawn flower from Hannah, one of the first girls attracted to Mighty Strong Girls, with the passage 1 Peter 3:3-4: Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and find clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Hannah's mom has since joined the Mighty Strong Girls team. A widow and single mom to four children (three living at home), she is a source of inspiration to me and I'm glad to call her one of my closest friends!

* An article from Christian Standard called "It's all about the mission," which points out all the things we think wrongly about what makes a good leader. "The best of them tended to be quiet listeners who let other people make most of the decisions. They weren't particularly charismatic. Or funny. They weren't the toughest guys in the pack... They were, on the whole, a little boring." 

What a relief to read this article! I am an introvert, who is awkward at public speaking, slow to process and react, and not funny in the least! But still, there could be a place for me, I remember thinking as I read this. The article goes on to conclude: "It means process and philosophy beat personality. It means the not-super-funny and the not-most-attractive-in-the-room can be most effective. It means character matters more than charisma. It means your personality doesn't have to be larger than life — your vision and your commitment to it do."

Yes, it's just a house but it's been home to more than our memories. It's held our laughter, our tears, our hopes, our dreams and our inspiration. This house represents change — beautiful transformation that took place in our hearts as a family.

When we first moved in this house in 2008, we had just made some major life changes. I had recently quit my job at the local newspaper where I had launched a magazine. We were downsizing, incorporating our spending/saving habits into our legacy, and making family our priority. We were "baby Christians." Here, we were challenged, put to pressure and made more beautiful. We became debt-free (except the house), we grew in our faith, our children were both baptized, Dan got severely ill, I quit my job, we made family our priority, we decided to homeschool and my dreams of making a difference in the world were realized with Mighty Strong Girls.

If it weren't for the sale of our house, I wonder how long I would work to the backdrop of the "inspiration" hanging on my walls but forgotten in my heart. Change, my dear friends, is a GOOD thing. It stirs us. It moves us. It improves us. Sometimes physically moving is the only thing, the only way we can make the transformation the Lord desires for us.

For this move, I am praying we will once again become debt-free, grow in our faith, incorporate our finances into our legacy, make family our priority and continue to make a difference in the world... one starfish at a time! 

Three things that changed my life

     It amazes me sometimes. 
     That it took me 40 years to realize a few nuggets that are the key to successful living. It's hard to admit it, but I find myself face palming over my lack of common sense. Probably it's more likely that I know, but I don't really want to live it out. 
     For years, I've been disappointed in my health, blaming all kinds of circumstances and people for my shortcomings and weaknesses (not eating right and not exercising enough, chiefly) that were exacerbating my medical and physical conditions. Something changed this summer. It was major. It was radical.
     But it was also kind of simple. Crazy simple. 
     It started on the inside, and the results are beginning to show on the outside, too. 
     Here are three things I did that transformed my life, in this order. The ordering is kind of important!
     1. I ACCEPTED ME. 
     I decided that I was enough for my husband and my children. That they loved me in spite of all my shortcomings. They loved me with the 30 or so extra pounds I was carrying. They loved me despite my headaches and the days I spent in bed because of them. They loved me even when I had major reactions to food and felt miserable. Not only that, but I decided if God could accept me, what was I waiting for? I accepted myself  as a child of God -- loved just where I was, flaws, imperfections and all. Because He does!
     It was simple. I looked in the mirror, and I made a choice. I WILL LOVE HER. I won't criticize or condemn. And really, why should I? Nobody else was. God wasn't. My husband has only been totally supportive and loving. He's never criticized me for how I look...ever! In fact, he's done nothing but the opposite. Praising me. Lifting me up. Loving me. Reminding me of how important I am, and loving every thing about how I look. I needed to adopt a perspective like my loving heavenly father and my husband on who I am. So I decided I needed to make it my choice, too. 

     2. I TRUSTED GOD. 
     I decided no matter what happened from that point on, I would trust it to God. He knows me. He knows best. I would hand over all the controls and the steering wheel, acknowledging that there is indeed very little I can control in the grand scheme of things. 
     I also figured that when it came to the changes I knew I needed to make, I wouldn't be able to make them on my own. I would need Him more than ever. He would have to be my source of strength. 
     Not long after, I saw Carolyn Twietmeyer post about her Isagenix journey -- again. I had already asked her about it in the past, but I was afraid. I didn't want the teen girls who are watching me to think I was looking for "lose weight fast" diet schemes. I didn't want a diet scheme myself. I didn't want a shortcut...been there done that, Weight Watchers and Slim Fast. 
     But I was constantly attracted to the message that Carolyn lifted herself up out of poor health to have the energy to raise a huge family using Isagenix products.  The feel-good, energy boosting, cleansing, healing, holistic part of her testimony was screaming out to me.
     I wanted REAL change. I wanted to feel good. I wanted to spend fewer days in bed every month. I wanted an end to pain. But I wanted it without taking missteps or shortcuts. Whatever I did, I wanted it to be nutritionally sound, organic and whole. I also didn't want to give up every good thing, because let's face it, God made food and it is GOOD! 
     After I had accepted myself and decided I would trust God, I was having a bad day with poor health when Carolyn posted about a 30-day Isagenix cleanse. I had some extra money from mileage reimbursement, and I was desperate. Desperate to be the wife and mother God created me to be. I prayed about it, and I knew in my heart that God was nudging me. 
     It's been about 70 days, and it's been an incredible journey! I completed the 30-day cleanse with no expectation for weight loss. I simply wanted to feel better. Isagenix exceeded my expectations in ways I am not sure I can ever fully express. I ended up losing 10 pounds the first month and 20.5 inches! I lost another 7 pounds since, and I cannot stop loving myself even more than I did before. I have muscle tone that I haven't seen since my early 20's! 
     I did my best with the cleanse, but I didn't do everything. And I didn't do it perfectly. That leads me to the last thing I committed to...

     3. I APPLIED DISCIPLINE. 
     About four years ago, I began reading my Bible daily. Little did I know that one decision would transform every aspect of my life. Practicing self discipline in staying in His word has spilled over into every facet of my life. I was establishing a track record with myself for being accountable and reliable. 
     Do I have bad days? Yes, and I KNOW sometimes routine becomes routine with no real impact. I have recently added deliberate morning prayer to my daily routine, and that has helped my heart stay in all things. I will still have bad days, but I know that because I am trusting God (see No. 2), I can forgive myself and get back on track. 
     Perhaps the strangest thing about Isagenix is drinking meals. It was a hard adjustment for me to make. My jaws wanted to move. I craved the chewing motion, the crunching, the texture of food. But I trusted God and overcame. 
     The best part of Isagenix for me is that my gluten intolerance and general digestive problems can be avoided when I KNOW that my body will tolerate the shakes and other food products. And to top it off, I'm getting some of the very best nutrition at every meal, and I don't have to think about what I can eat and then go to great lengths to prepare an inconvenient meal in an already busy schedule. 
     I drink a shake at one or two meals daily. My family always eats dinner together -- a dinner without processed ingredients or sugar or gluten. It's not too far off from what we ate before, but a lot less cheese and casserole types of dishes. More filling fibers and proteins. It's usually chicken, fish or beef with steamed vegetables, rice or potatoes and fruit. 
     I decided that the cost of not doing this exceeds the price tag of buying Isagenix. Yes, it's expensive, but I am more than worth it! I HAVE to be in the best physical, emotional, mental and spiritual condition to do the things God has called me to do -- be a wife, a mom, a leader with Mighty Strong Girls and simply to be His child. 
     Isagenix is a nutritionally sound investment in my health. I never would have known if I hadn't had the courage to try it, to give it my all and trust God. If it weren't for Carolyn sharing, I would still be having more miserable days than good days. I'm so thankful to her, and now I'm preparing to help others enroll so that they can feel the JOY that I have from losing weight and fueling my body with the best food product I have found!