She weighed her worth by the gap

     Earlier this week, as the Victoria Secrets Angels took the runway, I spouted off about the standards of beauty not only on the night of this annual runway event but also in magazines, advertisements, etc. 
     My biggest gripe isn't that these thin women exist. Some of them work hard — and healthy — to be in the shape they are in. Of course, it's absurd to believe all of them do, but likewise, it's dangerous to assume all have eating disorders. 
     To narrow in on exactly what makes me criticize:
     1. The industries themselves do nothing to use models of all the sizes and diversity their own clothing line is designed for — which makes me wonder why we continue to buy their products. The fact that they don't use diverse models representing all the sizes for sale in their shops is OFFENSIVE, ladies! They promote a standard by selecting the same type of girl or woman to model time and time again. Even when they do use a model who is different, they cut her down in Photoshop until she looks just like the others. The result is a very warped portrayal of the female gender that grossly misrepresents reality and contributes to the very unhealthy type of thinness we should try to avoid!
     2. The messages, even when well-intended, somehow get distorted by people who bumble them up along the way, bringing their own baggage to the conversation and leaving a wake of broken little girls who don't understand what true healthy body image is supposed to look like. 
     I think certain girls become more susciptible to messages, based in part on their personality and upbringing and also on their exposure to certain activities. Like gymnastics, for instance. 
     One of the roommates I had in college was on the gymnastics team. She was one of the bigger girls on the team, and by bigger, I mean she was taller than me and average size. Her size was average, but she was extraordinarily muscular! Despite having a body shape most girls would kill for, she obsessed over eating habits and self harmed. 
     Moms and daughters, please consider carefully the words and messages (spoken and visual) of others and weigh them against the ONLY true standard of beauty — God's word. 
     A mom of a few girls who read my blog sent me part of her story and allowed me to share it with you anonymously. Consider this — yes, thigh gaps existed even 20 years ago! — from her perspective growing up and ask yourself: 
     Has it gotten better or worse for my daughter? 
     What can I do about it? 
     How can I help my daughter and her friends sift through the messages? 
     How can I send positive messages to my daughter and other girls?

     I remember being a teenager and my friends and I would stand next to each other in the mirror to see whose legs had the requisite 'thigh gap.' I never struggled with weight as a child (I didn't weigh over 100 until the end of high school) but I ALWAYS thought I was fat because of things my gymnastics coach would say to me (and the other girls) every night at practice starting as young as I can remember.
     We had to "weigh in" every night before practice would start. For every pound we gained, we had to run one mile. One mile per pound. We were growing children! One girl had to run 8 miles, so she just ran home.       I remember going to Pizza Hut with my family on Friday nights when I was 8,9,10, and only getting a salad. I am so happy you are tackling this issue — in my house, we don't talk about "overweight," "dieting," etc. We just talk about eating healthy and making smart food choices. We talk about what is healthy in a particular food, and what is not (for health reasons).
     We also talk a LOT about how God made everyone with different body types, and that beauty is on the inside.

    This, moms, is my challenge to you. Counter the dialogue your daughter is hearing "out there" with honest and true conversations around the dinner table. Affirm her true value, pray over her, don't judge and make the environment one where you don't condemn or shame even if she's struggling with these issues. One girl can change the world! Who knows, that girl could be YOUR daughter!

     What's your story? Send me a message so we can encourage one another!