Community and Cans

Sometimes being a mom can be a lonely proposition. In all the busyness, we forget (don't we?) that we're part of something bigger? 


But I can always rely on God to remind me of how big he is, and he lifts me up and gives me perspective. And that's just what happened on Tuesday this week. 


It was Girls on the Run day, and I was set to lead the session. On community. Blah. Seemed boring at first glance, but as I studied the words and prayed about how to share them, a transformation began to happen. Hope started blossoming. Hope in the girls. Hope FOR the girls. Hope for ALL girls.


With two very simple activities, they learned this about community: 


1. For a community (ie. work project, team, family, village) to run smoothly, everyone has to do their part and do it correctly. We have to put our trust in others for the good of a common cause. We have to rely on each other. They illustrated this in a circle, with half the group leaning their weight out and half leaning in.  


2. To effect change, all we have to do is reach out to one or two people. The girls did a relay and when the first girl on each team returned to the line, she tagged two girls instead of one, and those two tagged two. And in no time at all, they finished the race. 


It reminded me that when problems seem too big for me to tackle alone, well, they probably are too big. And that's why we reach out. That's why we rely on others. We can make BIG, BIG changes to make the world a better place, and it all starts with making contact with one or two other people, who (when passionate about your cause) make contact with one or two people and so on.


That night, we gathered on our bed to read our Bible. And I'm sure we're behind significantly on our plan, but we must  be right where God wants us. We read Mark 4:30-32 where God tells his disciples the parable of the mustard seed -- the smallest of all seeds but when planted becomes the largest of all garden plants. He compared it to the kingdom of God. 
Ryker said he liked the story, but I wasn't entirely sure of its meaning, so I asked Dan to read the footnote in his study Bible. It said: "When you feel alone in your stand for Christ, realize that God is building a worldwide kingdom. He has faithful followers in every part of the world. Your faith, no matter how small, can join with that of others to accomplish great things."


WOW. After traveling to Africa and seeing GREAT faith in the villages where often that's all people have to rely on because there isn't adequate healthcare, enough food or a trustworthy government, it reminded me that while I am small, I am truly part of something HUGE! Because they rely on God, and God uses his army of Christians to provide help to these small villages and in all corners of the world. 


On Thursday, the Girls on the Run girls got together and brainstormed ideas for their community project. They were randomly numbered off by one of the other coaches, and on one of the teams were several girls who go to my church. Two whose families are collecting aluminum cans to donate. They're being sold by one of our pastors. To buy rice. For kids in an orphanage in an African village that I had visited during my trip. Their idea for a community service project: invite everyone in the community to donate their aluminum and imagine the rice we can buy for the orphans!
Each of the three teams submitted ideas, and this one won by a landslide! 


I love the concept of community being taught to these girls, because it's such a CRITICAL lesson! But how beautiful that God used it as an opportunity to remind our family of how a faithful community is rewarded with the gift of being able to accomplish great things in his name! 

Here are some of the beautiful kids from the orphanage, currently located in Waterloo, Sierra Leone. If you would like to donate aluminum cans or other aluminum to help with the Girls on the Run project, please call me at 801.7464 or drop off your donation on my porch before next Wednesday. Thanks for being part of the Girls on the Run community, which is making a difference for the Children's Redemption Orphanage Home community in Africa!

Naked Face Day

Today is the day. The day we're supposed to celebrate "Naked Face Day," the last day of Girls on the Run founder Molly Barker's 60-day Naked Face challenge. Technically, I had the official celebration yesterday. Since today I'm not going anywhere. Staying around the house doing spring cleaning and helping with the master bath remodel would not require makeup in any circumstances. It didn't seem fair for me to go makeup-free today. 


Without makeup, I helped with Abby's class Easter party. I saw her teacher and lots of other moms in the morning, all without mascara or powder or eye shadow. I picked up my high school buddy, Katie, and we all went to a very crowded McDonald's for lunch and then to the park to celebrate the first day of spring break. Later, I went shopping at Wal-mart. In my life, I've never gone to Wal-mart without makeup. Ever. Kind of sad, right? 


I was a little surprised at the outcome. First, I really didn't feel uncomfortable. Probably because of my exercise in not shaving. But also nobody close to me seemed to notice or care. As my daughter examined my makeup-free face for 5 full minutes specifically on a mission to find something "different," she came up empty-handed. Even my husband said he didn't notice a difference. Hmmmmmm..... I never thought I was putting on makeup for them, but it was interesting that I was still "mom," still me, no more or less pretty without the painted face.

It was fun. It was interesting. I learned a lot. Not just about myself but about girls and women, society and cultural standards. But later today when I take a shower, I plan to shave 60 days worth of hair off. And then I'm putting on makeup for dinner. Because it just makes me feel good. What will be different is that I won't always feel the need to wear makeup, especially for a run to Wal-mart, or to shave if I'm throwing on shorts, because at the end of the day, it doesn't change who I am. So I guess you could say I've come a long way. My confidence has not been shattered. Quite the opposite in fact!


Thanks Molly Barker for paving the way on such a worthwhile experience!


And without further ado, here's my naked face yesterday. Photo by Abby Denney. I turned all these photos black and white, because as I examined them in color, I found that the color was distracting me from the faces. What do you think? 

And here's part two of the story, and perhaps the most interesting part. My friend Katie, the high school freshman, read my blog post from Monday inviting anyone to participate in Naked Face day today, a Saturday. And she was inspired to do it ALL WEEK LONG! How amazing is she??? I would never have been so gutsy, so strong at age 15. So give her a shout-out, if you would! 

Here we are with our naked faces: 

And here's Katie with her naked face. She's beautiful, mostly because she radiates her inner beauty!

Yes, it's still adorable even when she does this: 

And here's Abby with her naked face. Well, her face is always naked. But I love this photo of her where the freckles and specks of dirt are nearly indistinguishable. And not only does she not care about makeup, she could care less about the dirt. We can learn a lot from 9-year-olds! As a side note, for the first time in her life, she asked to take a bath when she got home. She was absolutely filthy -- dirt all over from rolling in the gravel and leaves and grass in her hair. Later she admitted the bath wasn't because she felt the need to be clean of the filth...she was simply hot and wanted to cool off in the water. :)   

Join me with a NAKED FACE on Saturday!

If you've been following along on my blog, you know it's been almost 60 days since I touched a razor (except for that time two weeks in when I grabbed the razor in the shower -- Dan and I use the same one, so I had to intentionally bypass it daily -- and shaved my left armpit before I realized I was not supposed to be shaving. I'll leave the mental picture of my uneven armpit hair to you, but it ain't pretty!) 


On Sunday, I get to shave. And I'm SO EXCITED! In my last post, I mentioned that the project wouldn't end until I "got it." After I wrote that post, I put on capri pants and went to shoot a photo of seven high school senior pom girls. I didn't bat an eye. I didn't make awkward jokes about my legs. I didn't mention it. I didn't even care if they saw it and thought horrible, negative thoughts about me. I spent some time before we went meditating about my own negative self talk and decided I really needed to grow up and be the 38-year-old woman whose skin I'm in and be the self-assured mom I want for my daughters. My little pep talk worked...it actually worked, which is why we need to continue to assure the girls in our lives that they are beautiful just as they are! 


Am I happy with my body? No...I have a pulse, and so long as I do I will probably always feel something negative about my physical shell. But I have always and will always be more concerned about the inner me. Thank goodness I have always been confident with who I am on the inside, so I don't have to fake it. I'm proud of me. I bring a lot to the table, so to speak, and I've always walked with self confidence because of it. But having very long hair on my legs did two things to me: 


1. It made me understand what it means to be REALLY self conscience about my body. I realize that there are things about our physical beings that make us uncomfortable because society says it's not quite right. It could be our size, our shape, our height, our weight, the way our eyes look, our noses, lips....you name it! The industry that is selling us products to make us look "better" is so good at making us feel like the way we look isn't right. It's a huge issue for some girls and women. Others are good at not only recognizing the lies, but ignoring them. Those gals are so amazing, and we can learn so much from them! I discovered I'm more in the middle than I thought I was, and that I need to get closer to the side where I accept my body for what it is! Walking around with long hair on my legs was an exercise in how I can compose myself when there's something about me that I don't feel confident about it. I learned to embrace my whole self and be proud! It took a lot of work, but it was such a worthwhile exercise. 


And...


2. I discovered I really like smooth legs and armpits. Not shaving for 60 days made me feel "unclean." And I know it's not true and I realize that shaving is a cultural standard that someone is thrusting upon me. But I don't care. Smooth legs and hairless armpits makes me feel good about myself. I'm not drastically altering my appearance. I consider it not much different than grooming the hair on my head. I like it a certain way. (Dan was very good about this exercise, and he learned something, too -- women's legs look better without hair. It was just plain weird, especially because it was so dark, crazy and patchy! LOL!) 


If you've been following along, you know I did this to be a part of Girls on the Run Founder Molly Barker's Naked Face Project, an initiative she began when an 8-year-old girl asked her why she wears makeup and she didn't have an answer she was happy to give her. And now, she's invited you to join her! She's inviting all women to shed something comfortable for just one day. Can you pick just one of these things to do on Saturday? I think I can do No. 1 and No. 2, and I love so many others on this list I may need to commit to a few others, too! 


Here's what Molly has to say (you can read her entire blog entry at http://mollybarker.com/author/wanderingthroughnothingness/:

To show my support of all the spirited, courageous and brilliant 8 year old girls of theworld (including the spirited, courageous and brilliant one who lives in me), I am going to participate in the “Naked Face Project Celebration” for one entire day-- March 31^st.  I do this as a symbolic gesture…to bring attention to a broader, bigger, fuller, more empowered view of girls/women than is frequently portrayed in the media, our culture and society .  I want the world to see just how beautiful, strong, confident and connectedgirls and women can be and really ARE…everyone of us, no matter our age, our ethnicity, where we live in the world or our upbringing.  We are all beautiful, strong and remarkable in our own unique way!

I am choosing to participate in the Naked Face Project Celebration as a way to honor the strength, confidence, authenticity, wonder and beauty of all the amazing 8 year old girls in the world (and the one who still lives in me) by doing one or more of the following on March 31^st!

• Post a profile pic of myself on Facebook, Twitter or some other social media website, Naked Faced.
• Write about it on my blog.
• Invite all my friends and colleagues to participate.
• Write a letter (or post on their website) to a magazine or television network and let them know you’d like to see more positive messages about girls and women in their publications and on their airwaves.
• Take an 8 year old out to dinner and tell her how beautiful and amazing she is.
• Take an 80 year old out to dinner and tell her how beautiful and amazing she is.
• Send a thank you card to my mother for all she means to me.
• Send a thank you card to my daughter for all she means to me.
• Watch shows that portray women and girls in a positive light.  (This means turning off most reality television.)
• Put away all pop-culture magazines that make fun of or judge women (including celebrities, they are after all girls and women too!) based on their appearance, and find something else to read that shows how strong women and girls really are.
• Write a letter to a woman in politics and thank her for her service.  (For full effect, write someone who runs for office on the party ticket…you are NOT a member of.)
• Volunteer somewhere.
• Go for a run.
• Post an Operation Beautiful Sticky note. (www.operationbeautiful.com)
• Take an hour to just be alone and be quiet.
• Sweat.
• Practice yoga.
• Do some kind of sport you have never done, but always wanted to.
• Lift some weights.
• Wear a costume for no reason.
• Admit, at last, that I’ve been wanting to run for political office and do something about it.
• Cook a great meal and eat it with your family on the floor of your living room, picnic style.
• Have a sleepover.
• Research girls’ empowerment programs and reach out to set up time to volunteer.  (Girls on the Run, Girl Scouts, Girls, Inc, to name a few.)
• Write a letter to my younger self and post it on my refrigerator.
• Skip somewhere.
• Do something outside my comfort zone.
• Smile really big at everyone I pass today.
• Dance and sing really loudly in the car. (Windows down for full effect.)
• Make a card for someone and deliver it personally.

I want to be a Girls on the Run Girl!

It's no secret I'm a fanatic about Girls on the Run. I learned about the organization when my niece Gracie participated in Springfield. Then I got involved as a volunteer and took photos at the fall 2011 5k. (This event is so, so, so COOL! See a couple of photos below.) 


I was able to easily convince Cantrall to be a host school, because it's an AMAZING program! Diving into this curriculum is making me realize how critical it is that all girls know these things. It's made me realize....I want to be this girl....this Girls on the Run girl!
We're only six sessions in, and this is what I've learned so far: 


* I'm unique and different and should not only appreciate myself for that, but I should also value those qualities in others. 
* I can control my attitude and be positive if I want to!
* I can get rid of negative self talk (I'm too slow to run a 5k. I'm not good enough to play soccer. I'm not smart enough to be her friend.) and replace it with positive self talk, as in "I can do anything I set my mind to!" 
* I should encourage my sister friends!
* When I chose to eat right, get enough sleep and exercise often, I will be physically healthy. 
* I can learn to take a deep breath when I'm overcome with strong emotions and handle the situation appropriately instead of overreacting. I can learn to express a range of emotions without letting them get out of control. 


Next up, the girls will learn about peer pressure, bullying, community service and so much more before they get to finish their first 5k like these girls below did. Stay tuned. 

OK, I realize this program is for girls ages 8-12, but all the messages have been great reminders for me, too. I might be 38, but I hope it's not too late...too late to be a Girls on the Run girl! (I also want an excuse to wear a really cute, fun, colorful hat!) 


P.S. Right after I posted this, I got an email update from GOTR Founder Molly Barker's blog. You absolutely MUST read this (with a tissue!): http://mollybarker.com/author/wanderingthroughnothingness/

My 'gorilla legs' exposed me!

I have gorilla legs. That's what I'm calling them now. They're kind of like a circus act; people are curious and want to see what five weeks worth of hair on a woman's legs looks like. It's not pretty -- irregular growth patterns, untamed DARK hairs going in every direction.


This week, I haven't been hiding them. Springfield, Illinois broke record temperatures three days this week. A girl's got to be comfortable, right? Well, that's easier to convince yourself of when you're inside picking out clothes. Once I got outside, I found I was second-guessing my decisions as rash and impulsive.


On Wednesday morning, I went out for my first bike ride of the season -- wearing capri-length workout pants. I wasn't out of my subdivision when I could feel the hairs on my legs flapping against my skin like little flags. Lots and lots of little flags. Surreal. It was impossible to ignore the sensation.


I quickly realized my back tire was nearly flat, so I headed to the local Casey's to put some air in it. The reality that people might see my hairy legs temporarily froze me. But darn it, my tire was very low so I didn't have much choice in the matter. I breathed a sigh of relief when I pulled in and there wasn't a single car there -- not one. Praise God!

My big hairy distraction

The hair on my legs is very long. And suddenly, I'm more aware of it. More aware even then when my daughter was braiding it (haha! just kidding!) I mean stroking my leg absentmindedly during our Bible reading one night a week ago. 

A four-inch section on my leg from my skirt to my boot is exposed. My leg is very white; my hair, very black and extraordinarily wild. It sticks straight out and/or up, unlike the tame hair on my husband's legs and despite all the lotion I rub in a downward fashion over it every morning. I'm sitting in a room with 200 chairs, nearly every one of them filled. Except the one on either side of me. "Do they see my hairy legs?" I suddenly wondered. "Is the glare of my pasty skin making my legs shine like a beacon in the night sky?" 

The truth is I don't want anyone to sit next to me. Because then I may have that awkward break in a conversation where eyes divert. Then they might notice my extra long leg hair, definitely not to be confused with a couple days' worth of stubble. There would be an immediate shocked facial reaction to the scene just above my boots.  And we'd both feel all weird; the conversation would get uncoordinated. I would blush, which is embarrassing because the bright red tone grows from my neck up to my face -- the warm, tingly sensation making me all-too aware of how I'm yet again standing out like a neon, flashing sign in the middle of Athens (which doesn't even have a stoplight or billboard). 

I am by nature a hairy person. The hair on my head is rather thick, even if fine, and at the moment, longer than usual. Still, I had NO idea how hair can heighten the senses. Until I had them growing on my legs for the first time in 23 years. Three weeks into my shaving fast, I became "aware." A tingling sensation strikes every time I'm showering and the water runs down and over those tiny course hairs. My husband finds this amusing, as he encounters no such heightened feeling related to his leg hair. 

By now, you're probably wondering why the heck I'm not shaving. And no, I'm not touching my razor at all. Just be glad it's not tank top season! There are a few reasons actually. I began subscribing to Girls on the Run Founder Molly Barker's blog at mollybarker.com when I heard about her Naked Face Project. She's given up all beauty rituals, tools and products. That means no hair coloring, pedicures, makeup, shaving, etc. Other women nationwide are joining her, and she's blogging about her 60-day adventure. There are no agendas, no judgments or criticisms. It's just an experiment. Since I don't color my hair (yet!) or get mani/pedis. And while I realize this sounds horrible, I couldn't -- at least not right now -- give up makeup. But I wanted to stand in solidarity with the intent of the project -- to examine these routines, rituals and values. Giving up a razor was something I felt could do. 

Little did I know that my winter weight gain wouldn't easily peel off, leaving me unable to fit comfortably into most of my pants. That and the unseasonably warm weather has meant my elastic-banded skirts are a real viable option. That's probably not a bad thing, since it's making it more "real." (Read about Molly's armpit flash on her blog -- it's hysterical!) 

Shortly after I started going without a razor, something else occurred to me. In other cultures, there are no razors, Oil of Olay, Covergirl or Mary Kay. And the women are without a doubt beautiful and desired by men -- hair and all. 

So why do we put so much emphasis on silky, smooth legs? 

I'm not adequately equipped to answer that question anymore than I can explain why super models weigh 26 percent less than the average woman. These are big questions, and I think the real problem isn't that we don't have an answer but that we fail to inquire. We simply grab a razor, cover our grays, put on mascara and straighten our hair without examining what, or who, motivates us to do so. In fact, when I checked into my hotel room for this conference, I was hit by a moment of panic when I realized I'd forgotten my razor. Despite having gone five weeks without shaving, so ingrained is this ritual. Do we simply accept the propaganda of magazine advertisements and billboards as to the standard of beauty and products we need to buy to achieve it? Just wondering. 

As I tug at my skirt to cover as many straggly hairs as possible, I ask myself if I believe these things really make me more desirable. Or do they simply make me more comfortable in my society? And is that like peer pressure or is it really just a cultural norm that's not so bad? But it's not a conversation I want to have right now with a perfect stranger. So when they dim the lights in the ballroom just as someone heads down my aisle to grab one of the empty seats, I whisper a "Thank you, God" prayer for a darkened conference room. 

What are your thoughts on this experiment? The reason we do these things? How it affects young girls? Or boys? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please comment below and let's get a conversation started!

By the way, here's what my legs looked like in the workout pants I brought with me to the hotel. I was the only female in the gym, but I fit right in with the guys!