Here's the thing about Ryker, though. He's actually got great potential with just about any sport he tries. He's naturally gifted in sports, very coordinated and competitively motivated, while also being a great teammate to his buddies. When it comes to sports, he makes us very proud.
Thankfully he's talented at other things, too, particularly reading. I love my little nerdy athlete! Ryker also very much enjoys Boy Scouts and camping, and those activities have been great for our whole family. The problem is that our around-the-calendar sports schedule allows for little time to camp and fully enjoying the Scouting activities.
So when Ryker suggested not playing football this year, and then waffled between football and soccer for several weeks, I had an idea. How about no sports for the end of summer/start of the school year? Both sports play games on Saturdays or Sundays, and having a few months with weekends and most week nights free would be a REAL blessing.
I thought he might agree. But his response, "You guys can go camping while I play soccer."
He does NOT want to sit out a season. He's 7. I think it could be a great time for family bonding, togetherness and a breather from the hectic-ness that has become our collective life of sports. Plus, he's never played outdoor soccer, so I'm thinking why start something new?
Here's my dilemma, I feel strongly about my position, and I know it would be good for us and good for him. However, part of me acknowledges that when school starts and the other boys are wearing their football jerseys and talking about upcoming games, he will be upset that he's not a part of a team.
I should point out that if this were Abby, the decision would be easy. It wouldn't break her heart, and she would be over it. But she's a leader, and Ryker is very much a follower. Part of his identity is tied to fitting in with the boys.
So, I must know....what would you do???
Amy, I understand 100% how you feel about the sports issue(including the game of football) We too have thought about slowing down on sports so that we dont have to run as much and could be together more as a family. Except, I feel guilty about it. Christopher loves sports, even if he isn't the best player on every team. He loves (and I love witnessing) making new friends and seeing the team become a pack of sorts. I can sometimes close my eyes for just a moment at a baseball(basketball, football) game and picture this same amazing group of boys as teens with an amazing bond from the years of being a team. At the end of the day though, our family bonding time is where we make it, at home, in the car, on the sidelines, a note in a lunch box, at bedtime when we read that short story or answer a question about something they heard in church, wherever. Chances are if we are home the kids will be outside and not hanging out with mom and dad :) Not really sure that helped you at all..... just a thought though ~Aubrey
ReplyDeleteAmy I too can completely see where your coming from... But I am going to give you the perspective of a mom whose son is now 18y/o... Michael played football since 1st grade. So we were actually driving him to and from Rochester when we first moved to Athens the first couple years (til ACF started)... Michael borders between leader and follower. While I would have loved to slow down, step back, and enjoy family dinners, board games, or movie nights... I also knew how much he love being part of HIS team. How much he loved and thrived on hearing and seeing his family and friends families come out and watch him play. As he got older... He was proud of being on a team... And the guys he has grown up playing football with... Are all close. I found as they got older I didn't just have 2 sons.... I had many many more than that. They became a family of there own... Of sorts... High school was a whole other world... The pride the boys have... The dedication and commitment they learned in their early years only solidified. My phylosophy as they grew up was that I did not care if they played or chose not too... BUT, if they chose to be on a team they had to complete the season, and be dedicated to the commitments they made... I guess it stuck.
ReplyDeleteAnyway... Looking back... Now that he's 18... I think being part of an on going team gave him some of the ability to know how to be a person of his word... And maybe helps give the kids (like Gabe) who are followers a tad more confidence so they can reach out sometimes to lead.
Just my 2 (or 25) cents... Lol... ~ Tricia
I pretty much agree with Aubrey. If he is not in sports, there is no guarantee what you expect to happen will happen. You have expectations that without sports, you will spend more time together as a family. You might be disappointed and Ryker will probably be disappointed that he is not playing with his friends. I also like what she said about family bonding being where we make it.
ReplyDeleteBrennon played soccer when he was younger, but now he wants nothing to do with sports. He is in Boy Scouts, but we try all the time to get him to join a sport because when he is not doing scouting activities, he is not doing anything:( He is at the age where he spends most of his time playing video games. Even with the time limits and rules we put on that, it is hard to get him outside these days.
Aaron is an adult member of scouts and goes to the meetings and events with Brennon. I know a lot of moms that are very involved also. I volunteer as much as I can. It is great father son time for them. I guess sports would get in the way a little, but they also reinforce some of the good qualities they learn in Scouts, like working together and responsibilities.
You will still have family time. The grass is always greener, but you know in your heart it really isn't. Just have fun, cheer him on, and make time to be together. It is difficult, but it is worth it in the end:)