When I simply began thinking about this blog post, I got a lump in my throat. When I mentioned the word "homeschool" to my mom a couple weeks ago, in the context that we'll be trying it, I've never heard the woman clam up so fast.
What is it about homeschooling that makes everyone so uncomfortable anyway?
The first time I contemplated it was the first time I looked in my daughter's eyes in the delivery room and thought to myself, "I can't let anyone else hold her....ever!" It only took a little colic for that feeling to go away.
Seriously, though, there has always been something about homeschooling that has appealed to the hippy in me. I gently reminded my mom of my own anger and frustration my freshman year in college to learn that I was paying $6,000 to relearn high school subjects, and it was REQUIRED for a degree. It was ridiculous in my mind, the subjects I had to learn at a remedial level (chemistry....really?) to get my degree in journalism. Was all the money and time necessary? Most of my learning in college came inside the four walls of the student newspaper anyway.
But when others tried to urge me years ago to do it, I had that feeling of discomfort. As in, "I need to change the subject fast. There's NO WAY I could homeschool. And these people are cah-RAY-zee!"
Today, I can honestly say the time is right. I'm looking forward to the freedom to work side-by-side with my children at their pace, in their interests, pursuing their goals. I cannot imagine doing anything more important.
My daughter frequently reminds me that she "doesn't WANT to be like everybody else." While most of the world is busy trying to fit in, she's not just content but determined to stand out. She is somewhat of a standout at school, but there's so much more she wants to do. She wants to take assignments to deeper levels; she wants to explore, build and create with intensity. She doesn't want a lecture; she craves a hands-on exploration. Constantly. She wants room to try and not just fail but totally screw up, so she can try again. This, I believe, is the makeup of many of our nation's great minds over the course of history. They weren't typical, robotic learners. They thought outside the box; they were risk-takers; they were unafraid of failure; they were different, for sure. Those are the kinds of values I want my homeschooled children to embody.
The problem is I don't know, exactly, how to get there. I tried teaching college level students last year, and it was a flop. (And here I am taking on my own precious children!) I hated the grading scale, the structure, the process. It was all so....formulaic. It didn't determine success or failure; it didn't prepare them.
Today, I committed as formally as possible to homeschooling. I bought some teaching tools, dry erase charts, printed homeschool records and (gulp) bought a curriculum. A very loose one that will allow them to guide themselves through their learning. I'm pretty excited about it actually and the potential for them to explore their way through history using music, math, art, science, religion, cooking, reading, writing and more.
I'm also pretty scared. It's a big leap of faith. A major transition for our whole family. A big commitment.
I'm also wondering why I didn't do it sooner. So many encouraging women have suggested it for years. I doubted myself. I doubted it mattered that much. I doubted it was better for my children.
Today I'm so glad I dumped the doubt, but I'm still working on the fear. Well, maybe I'll keep some of it. I'll probably need the adrenaline to keep this ship afloat!
In the interest of being more authentic and transparent, I'll be sharing our experiences. I'm blessed to have many friends who are so supportive and encouraging. While there are some who just avoid talking about it with me, I also appreciate those who want to learn more. About what we're doing. What works. What doesn't. And how my children fare. I don't mind that, and I'm glad I haven't experienced anything terribly negative.
The next step: Setting up our space, buying a few more supplies and writing the lesson plan for the first four-week unit on creation.
Keep us all in your prayers! :-)
I wish you the best of luck, Amy! I have often thought of homeschooling Auston myself, but as you, have had many fears to go along with it and not necessarily the right situation to be able to commit to it wholeheartedly. I will be anxious to hear how it goes for you.
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