The little girl had been asking questions. Never all that good at math, she couldn't understand why she had celebrated more birthdays than her parents had marked anniversaries. It didn't add up, but rather than ask why, she just kept repeating the same question.
"How many years have you been married?" she asked again just after their November wedding anniversary.
Finally they explained.
Her mom had previously been married, and she was born when her biological father was serving a tour of duty in the Vietnam War.
He wasn't exactly the same when he returned. Addicted to drugs and uninterested in being a real dad, the little girl's mom was courageous enough to run from an abusive and neglected marriage.
God intended better for her. What a blessing that this brave woman would recognize that!
The little girl was just a baby when the woman met her second husband. He was interested in being a real dad — but not just to children he would have with her. He also very much loved that baby (even though she may have barfed on him a few times!) and wanted her to be his very own.
He desired for this special girl to be his daughter, to share his last name and his life. He didn't just tolerate her or accept her. He choose her! She was legally adopted into this new family that would later include two sisters, too.
That beautiful illustration of adoption is the "once upon a time" of my life.
My story wasn't a fairytale. It wasn't entirely void of grieving, anger, misbehavior or confusion (why wouldn't the one who had me choose me?) as the years unfolded. I wasn't always the best daughter; my dad wasn't a perfect earthly dad. But he loved me in spite of all my shortcomings with an unconditional love.
This story sure looks a lot like the one that the Author and Perfecter of life has for all of us. We might rebel, act out, disobey — but He STILL wants us, loves us and daily He chooses us!
Because adoption transformed my life, I've always had a special place in my heart for it.
As Dan and I began our own journey to build a family, we ran into some struggles. Infertility. After six months of tests, blood draws, shots and pain, we conceived.
I was pregnant when we traveled out of state for a wedding. I didn't think that the last insemination had worked, and neither of us were super fond of the whole process. It was taxing on our relationship, and due to medical/work situations, another insemination would be difficult logistically and financially.
We had a heart-to-heart during our long drive. And decided we would adopt. We knew that we could add to our family, offer love to a child who needed parents and honor the very act of choosing that had such a profound impact on me.
That, of course, never happened. I was pregnant, and by the grace of God, I delivered a healthy 6 lb., 14 oz. baby girl eight months later.
Somehow, I got pregnant right around the time of Abby's first birthday, and our second miracle was born into this world in 2004.
God was so good to us, despite the fact that we — at that time — were rather unruly, disobedient children. (In fact, we only sought to attend church when our children were toddlers — aware that it would be "good for them," and completely unaware of the total transformation God intended for us!)
The idea of adoption quickly faded and disappeared entirely.
Until 2012.
I attended an orphans conference, heard the most amazing testimonies and decided it was time to revisit this desire of my heart. I knew then and there that I wanted to adopt. To give one of the 167 million children a forever home.
Micah 6:8 says, "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
Right after I left the conference, I got in the car with Dan and the kids and told them I thought God wanted us to adopt. Dan was immediately agreeable! God really blessed me with a husband who seems to enjoy going along with anything that makes me happy. Still, this was huge, and I was kind of surprised.
But I wasn't happy with Dan's choice. I wanted him to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was right for us, that it was God's will for us.
About 10 months later at a church leadership story one of the speakers told a brief story about adopting one of his children. It was hardly the theme of the conference, let alone the theme of his talk, but it was then that Dan knew it was what God wanted for our family.
But I had just begun a new ministry, our finances — which had been healthy (we had been debt-free except our home) — were a mess again, and we were busier than ever.
We didn't talk about it much more. We figured it wasn't God's timing.
Perhaps we should have asked Him. We were probably afraid He would say yes!
But God put it on our children's hearts. They never forgot and often brought it up. Finally I made a flippant remark that if we could fill a coffee can with $100 by the end of the month (October, 2013), we would pray about whether God wanted us to start the adoption process. It was 10 days away. I thought it would be impossible.
I should really know better than to play games with God. Because even though it's my heart's desire to adopt, we are raising money for a mission trip, trying to pay off debt and get Mighty Strong Girls into a more "stable" position.
Ha! God doesn't care! My children collected $70 by the end of the day without leaving our house, asking anyone for money or using our money.
My children used their own money and change from anywhere they could look. It was as if God was putting me in my place.
But I still wasn't sure if the timing was right. So I prayed that God would show me in His word if this was His will. We had just read James 1:27 in the reading plan, so I knew it could be a stretch to come across something about orphans again so soon. I prayed one day and the next day the reading plan I follow had me in Ezekiel 22, where verses 6-7, and then 12 in the Message read as follows:
“‘Your leaders, the princes of Israel among you, compete in crime. You’re a community that’s insolent to parents, abusive to outsiders, oppressive against orphans and widows. ....
“‘And you’ve forgotten me. Decree of God, the Master.
Ouch! Orphans and widows — considered the lowly, the outcasts in Bible times — are still neglected today, even and sometimes especially by "the church." Orphans often end up in the streets and turn to prostitution or become victims of labor trafficking. Even here in the United States. It's unthinkable!
We could blame "the church," where sometimes an outsider's perspective is that all Christianity is good for is being "anti" — anti-abortion, anti same-sex marriages, anti-(fill in the blank). But here's the truth as I see it: WE are the church. Each believer is a member, a part of the body of Christ. And so we all must do our part.
It wouldn't be hard. Do you want to know how easy it would be? You've probably heard stories of people lifting and moving structures like barns. Impossible for one person, but when many work together, it CAN happen!
Richard Foster, head of World Vision and author of "The Hole in Our Gospel," describes the American church as the wealthiest community of Christians in history. American churchgoers' combined income is $5.2 trillion.
"It would take just over 1 percent of the income of American Christians to lift the poorest ONE BILLION people in the world out of extreme poverty," Foster writes in his book.
Why is this not happening? Because only five percent of American households tithe to the church and nonprofit ministries, he says. Overall, Christians in America are giving 2.58 percent of their income.
You might be thinking that if God really cared, He would intervene. He clearly hears the pleas of those in distress. But if what Foster says is true, we have all the tools to combat the orphan problem, among others! We are the solution, and each one of us can be part of that.
Each person doing his or her part would literally change the world. And if we worked together, we would not just lift a barn, we would END world hunger, solve all contaminated water issues, provide universal access to drugs, eliminate more than 26,000 children deaths that occur DAILY, guarantee education for all children and provide a safety net so orphans don't get pushed out into the streets.
Our family is already supporting one orphan, James, through Lifegate in Africa. But our children don't think that is enough. Aren't children wonderful for helping us see what's clearly truth?
"At that time Jesus said, 'I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.'" — Matthew 11:25
I don't know what James 1:27 looks like to you. But for us, God's directive is clear. We are supposed to adopt.
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