Teenage rebellion

     In case you didn't know, my husband is pretty amazing. Like most of us, he's done some things in his past that he regrets. Well, maybe. Those things we do, they make us who we are. They make us realize what we need; they can often turn us toward Jesus. Some never go through this phase; others breeze right through it and a few spend their lives  feeding sins and addictions. Not one of us isn't a broken, sinful mess. I'm so thankful my husband owns his mistakes and his past, and even more, I'm thankful he's living an authentic and pure life turned toward God.
     Recently we applied to adopt. I can see already it will be a journey that takes us back a few chapters in life. 
     On the application was a question: Have either of you ever been arrested? 
     It's possible if we answered no, nobody would ever know it was a lie. Because there isn't much of a record. Not much of a trail to follow. But we prayed about it, and decided honesty was best. It's what we preach to our kids, and we need to live it, too.
     A week after we submitted the application, the agency asked for more information about the arrest. A document, if one exists, from the arresting agency and an explanation from Dan. 
     What he wrote was so beautiful, I wanted to share it. Because so many of us have been where he was. So many of us have been rescued. And even more will want and need saving. I hope his words encourage you!

     Shortly after high school I found myself in a situation that many young people find themselves in. I had no idea what to do with my life, and not much ambition to find out. I had tried my hand in community college, but found out that not being a self-starter was not going to equal success at the college level. I soon found myself gravitating towards other kids in my community who were in the same frame of mind. I eventually took to drinking with them. On the evening on October 13, 1995, my friends and I decided to start our weekend off with some beers, before heading to another friends for a party. In our infinite teenaged wisdom, we decided to drink a few beers in my car while driving from one end of town to the other. We had no regard for others around us and made no attempt to hide our ridiculous illegal behavior. It was at this point that a concerned citizen who was witness to our actions called the police and then followed us until a squad car could pull us over. I was ticketed for multiple violations that evening. I wasn’t wearing my seat belt, I couldn’t find my insurance card, I was illegally consuming and transporting alcohol, and since I wasn’t 21, I was arrested for a Zero Tolerance violation. After the dust settled and I received help from a lawyer my mother worked for, I had every charge dismissed with the exception of the illegal transportation of alcohol. I was ticketed and fined $150, and given 6 months court supervision. I successfully completed the court supervision, and subsequently all record of my wrongdoing was expunged from my record.

Through this I feel I have learned a great many things. I have learned the importance of having a solid direction in life. I hope to pass on to my children a desire to do things well and completely, by trying to impart this trait into my kids I would hope to keep them from falling into the same habits I did out of high school.

I also have to admit that I spent a long time feeling anger at the concerned citizen who called the police on me that night. In the coming years I began to understand that the concerned citizen was actually a guardian angel. There is no telling what I may have done with my life had I not been caught in the act when I was. I could have hurt any number of people with my brazen disregard for the law. Now that I am a husband and a father, I can honestly say that I would do exactly the same thing if I were to witness this same senseless act. So through the years, I feel I learned to not only take responsibility for my actions but to forgive that person in my heart for calling the police.

Taking a spa to Sierra Leone

      I am working on editing the script for the spa. I'm leaving the country tomorrow, crossing the Atlantic Ocean and giving "spa" treatments on the African continent to my friends and then some orphans. 
     I am earnestly still wrapping my head around this. 
     Apparently God didn't get the memo that I'm not a girly-girl. I don't like spas. I used to, but my feet are gross. Pedicures make me uncomfortable. Pampering myself makes me feel selfish. Spas are extravagant, and the world needs less of this. There are starving children, and I am doing a spa.What. The. Heck.
     Yep. This is EXACTLY what God has called me to do. I'm so glad I've been doing the Experiencing God study and that I've been open to hear His voice. Because a part of me wants to tell God to take this idea and shove it.

~~~~

 
     Last night, my sweet daughter told me she wants to be a missionary in Britain. Because she's fascinated with Britain. She loves everything about books and movies set there, and she adores the accent and landscape. She so wants to live there. We gently stroked her hair, told her we loved her and then laughed! 
     "Honey, God doesn't always call us EXACTLY where we want to go just because that's where we want to go." 
     "What? But I want to go somewhere that doesn't require shots." 
     We chuckled some more and explained that shots are sometimes necessary, even to do some of the things we want right here in the United States.
     I told her, again, the story of how I let go of my full-time job because God wanted to find me with open arms. He wanted to speak to me about how He was going to use me, and I needed to drop what was in my hands to receive what He wanted to place there. 
     And yet, I kept trying to pick up everything I could get near. 
    After He sent me on a short-term mission trip to Sierra Leone, which I loved, I thought surely I would be a missionary journalist. I would LOVE that — traveling, photographing and writing about people all over the world. Heck yes! 
     No.  
     Fundraising for missions? 
     No. 
     A different type of photography? 
     No. 
     Other kinds of artwork? 
     No. 
     And then God said...a magazine for teen girls. 
     How about a magazine for moms? 
     No. 
     And when I finally said yes, He gave me everything I needed. Much of it I already had: a passion for teens, the ability to design a magazine, the desire to start my own magazine (going back eight years) and experience of having already launched a magazine. 
     My hesitation was the who. I liked being around teens. But I hardly felt qualified to be a leader. Indeed, I wasn't. But God is working on qualifying me! All He wanted was my Yes and He's taking care of the rest.
     Now I'm falling in love with everything about what I get to do. 
     Even the spa. 
    

~~~~

     At the end of summer, we were on the cusp of new adventures: the start of homeschool and volunteering at a local homeless shelter of sorts. And we got to have a visit with family on Labor Day weekend. 
    My kids and their cousin wanted to play spa. At first, grandma was against this "messy" idea. But like I sometimes do, I went behind her back and let them. We decided to do it outside so that water spills wouldn't be an issue. We found an old tub and soap and filled it with warm water. Grandma even decided to donate some of her tools to the cause. 
     Everyone in the house, man and woman and even great-grandma, visited the spa. It was the talk of the town! The kids enjoyed it (and the tips they ended up getting) and didn't feel like they were "serving" but simply enjoyed making other people happy. 
     Here they are hard at work:

     About six weeks later, my friend Jan gave us a treat at a Mighty Strong Girls board retreat. A little spa pampering and devotion. It was an amazing experience that involved relaxation, love and the Holy Spirit. I was so moved by her sense of service and the tremendous impression the experience had on my life and relationship with the Lord! 
     Not long after, the kids and I were volunteering at the homeless shelter — Inner City Mission — and after we left I was deep in prayer. My daughter had connected with a resident — a woman who was clearly in a rough spot. Someone I was, much as I hate to admit, trying hard to ignore. Because I could tell it would be messy and broken, and frankly I didn't want to be involved. 
     But Abby wasn't afraid. Our visit got extended by two hours so we could simply hang out with her and her son.
    Not long after, God put it on my heart that we needed to do something for her and the other ladies there. Something to show them how loved they are, something to pamper them. 
     I thought about the two spas, and I knew (as I cringed) then and there God wanted us to do a spa. I told Abby, and she (as I cringed) LOVED it. 
     From there, it snowballed. Clearly God's plan, He brought all the people to form a team. An awesome meal was donated, prepared and served by volunteers. Teen girls with Mighty Strong Girls served alongside Jan. And get this, Jan's spa doesn't include a foot soak, but I got the sense that God wanted that to be a part of it, kinda like Jesus washing the disciples' feet. I had a woman, Crystal, whom I hardly know message me and ask if she could donate like 20 foot soaks to the ministry. Um....OK! Isn't it so cool how God brings us all together to do His work? I was amazed by it all! My husband, son and other families stepped up to provide daycare back at the house so the women could enjoy the pampering.
     So there is was. Spas. God's work. Not what I wanted. But what He wanted. It was time for me to get out of His way! 
 

~~~~

     As all of this is unfolding, I was struggling with this upcoming mission trip. I know God wants us to go. I knew He didn't want us creating a big plan. I know the purpose of our trip is to experience Him and to listen to the people there. All of that is hard enough for me, since I like to have a plan. I want to know my purpose long in advance. 
     But I also knew God wanted us to do something for our friends living and serving there. I was entertaining a lot of ideas that God was shooting down. 
     Then the spa occurred to me. 
     Really? In Africa? A spa? 
     Yes. 
     But this is Jan's thing? These are her words. I can't possibly do this. It's hers, not mine!
     And then it occurred to me, my dear friend Jan would love to go on this trip but isn't able to. It's like she'll be there with me. How cool is that! When I finally accepted that I will be doing a spa, I relaxed and prayed. Then God gave me the words to share to make the spa complete. 
     I'm scared and nervous and anxious. Because the mission trip I envisioned was full of work and photography and videos and projects to help our missionary friends. I don't feel equipped to do this trip. 
     That is exactly why I know it's from God. He says, Yes. You can.

Purity

     I was literally delighted today to see on Facebook one of the girls featured in Mighty Strong Girls had her Christmas wish come true. 
     Genevieve Rogers received a purity ring for Christmas. I thank her that she is allowing me to share this with you! It's what she wanted and asked for, and on a quiet evening at home, her parents presented her with this gift. A gift that is so much in the spirit of God's gift to us — a baby in a manager. Both are simple like a good book in front of a fireplace on a cold night but will have everlasting consequences for generations to come. Both could be described as unexpected — a king in a manger and a teen girl desiring to save herself for her husband.
     She will share this most precious gift with her husband on their wedding night. 
     But purity, you see, goes even beyond that. It will be a gift to herself every time she turns her back on things the world places on a pedestal that she believes are ungodly — those images, movies, books and music that might contaminate her mind and her soul and damage her faith. 
     A girl who values purity will want to keep not only her body as a temple but also her mind and spirit. And all are connected just as we are learning that our physical health is inseparable from our spiritual, emotional and mental well-being.
     Genevieve will share this gift with her girlfriends as a testimony of strong faith. It can inspire others to make promises that are counter-culture. It will be her witness to boys, too, who recognize a worthy girl is one who cannot be bought but who must be sought. 
 
      Accompanying her ring was this poem: 

My Gift Wrapped Heart

My gift's a secret, hid beneath

this golden foil and bow. 

My Father wrapped it in His Love

for only one to know. 

My gift is very precious

and the wrapping's precious too; 

The one without the other

spoils the mystery and the clue. 

For though the pressure's strong

my God is with me from the start, 

and He'll be there with me when 

I give my love, My Gift Wrapped Heart. 

   

 

     Today I celebrate Genevieve for making this awesome decision. Please pray for her and for other girls who desire this commitment in their faith. What she is doing is not easy, and there will be many temptations. I pray that Genevieve and other girls will boldly follow their commitments and should any of them stumble, I pray they take hold of God's promise that purity isn't a one-time gift. It's not perfection. It's His promise of grace that makes purity possible not just for Genevieve but for all of us, no matter how far we've wandered from Christ. He makes all things new and covers the stains of our past — no matter how much we think are unable to be erased — with His blood making us brand new. Purity is a gift that came in a manager.

She weighed her worth by the gap

     Earlier this week, as the Victoria Secrets Angels took the runway, I spouted off about the standards of beauty not only on the night of this annual runway event but also in magazines, advertisements, etc. 
     My biggest gripe isn't that these thin women exist. Some of them work hard — and healthy — to be in the shape they are in. Of course, it's absurd to believe all of them do, but likewise, it's dangerous to assume all have eating disorders. 
     To narrow in on exactly what makes me criticize:
     1. The industries themselves do nothing to use models of all the sizes and diversity their own clothing line is designed for — which makes me wonder why we continue to buy their products. The fact that they don't use diverse models representing all the sizes for sale in their shops is OFFENSIVE, ladies! They promote a standard by selecting the same type of girl or woman to model time and time again. Even when they do use a model who is different, they cut her down in Photoshop until she looks just like the others. The result is a very warped portrayal of the female gender that grossly misrepresents reality and contributes to the very unhealthy type of thinness we should try to avoid!
     2. The messages, even when well-intended, somehow get distorted by people who bumble them up along the way, bringing their own baggage to the conversation and leaving a wake of broken little girls who don't understand what true healthy body image is supposed to look like. 
     I think certain girls become more susciptible to messages, based in part on their personality and upbringing and also on their exposure to certain activities. Like gymnastics, for instance. 
     One of the roommates I had in college was on the gymnastics team. She was one of the bigger girls on the team, and by bigger, I mean she was taller than me and average size. Her size was average, but she was extraordinarily muscular! Despite having a body shape most girls would kill for, she obsessed over eating habits and self harmed. 
     Moms and daughters, please consider carefully the words and messages (spoken and visual) of others and weigh them against the ONLY true standard of beauty — God's word. 
     A mom of a few girls who read my blog sent me part of her story and allowed me to share it with you anonymously. Consider this — yes, thigh gaps existed even 20 years ago! — from her perspective growing up and ask yourself: 
     Has it gotten better or worse for my daughter? 
     What can I do about it? 
     How can I help my daughter and her friends sift through the messages? 
     How can I send positive messages to my daughter and other girls?

     I remember being a teenager and my friends and I would stand next to each other in the mirror to see whose legs had the requisite 'thigh gap.' I never struggled with weight as a child (I didn't weigh over 100 until the end of high school) but I ALWAYS thought I was fat because of things my gymnastics coach would say to me (and the other girls) every night at practice starting as young as I can remember.
     We had to "weigh in" every night before practice would start. For every pound we gained, we had to run one mile. One mile per pound. We were growing children! One girl had to run 8 miles, so she just ran home.       I remember going to Pizza Hut with my family on Friday nights when I was 8,9,10, and only getting a salad. I am so happy you are tackling this issue — in my house, we don't talk about "overweight," "dieting," etc. We just talk about eating healthy and making smart food choices. We talk about what is healthy in a particular food, and what is not (for health reasons).
     We also talk a LOT about how God made everyone with different body types, and that beauty is on the inside.

    This, moms, is my challenge to you. Counter the dialogue your daughter is hearing "out there" with honest and true conversations around the dinner table. Affirm her true value, pray over her, don't judge and make the environment one where you don't condemn or shame even if she's struggling with these issues. One girl can change the world! Who knows, that girl could be YOUR daughter!

     What's your story? Send me a message so we can encourage one another!

Thigh gaps and fashion shows

     Yesterday was a big day in the fashion world. Yes, a really, really big day. It was the annual Victoria Secret Fashion Show. 
     Guess how much I care? Honestly, I've never paid much attention to this stuff my entire life. But I'm starting to care, only because it's becoming obvious to me that girls are paying attention. A lot of attention. Victoria Secret must realize this, too, because flipping through the images, the grown-up models looked they were attempting to mimic fashion styles of middle school girls — long, colorful socks; bright knit hats and mylar balloons. Girls — very young girls — are watching...and being marketed to, whether we want to acknowledge it or not. It's not just this particular event, but to it all. 
     The barrage of visual and stereotypical messages of objectified and sexualized women. And girls. I had to gringe as my daughter, age 11, and her 9-year-old brother read the headlines of the Cosmopolitan sitting in full view in our small-town grocery store line just yesterday: 
~ 52 Holy Sh*t Sex Moves
~ Bedside Astrologer: The best sex position for your sign
~ Happy Naughty New Year
~ HOT looks: The best beauty steals under $50
    To be fair, I'm all about FREE press, and I realize Cosmo serves a fairly specific audience largely filled with insecure women who have been fed the world's twisted lies about how youthful, physical "beauty" and sex empower to the female gender when thrown around recklessly, primarily outside the marriage. Heck, I WAS that girl, once upon a time. 
     The reality is that our world doesn't just send out this message, it hammers our girls over the head with it, so it's no wonder they are confused, bitter, angry, hurt, etc. 
     I am tired of the message that is already going out to my children about women. Which is if you have any of the following, you aren't beautiful: wrinkles, gray hair, cellulite, flat chest, large chest, a smidge of fat, touching thighs, drooping.....anything, etc., etc. 
     It's not about the Victoria Secret event. Or the runway. Or the advertisements. Or the magazines. Or the movies. It's impossible to isolate one thing. Because it's everything in American culture and media that frames a female's value in a physical, usually sexual, often demeaning context. 
     I honestly think it's harder for women in many ways than it was when I was becoming an adult, some 22 years ago. Because of Photoshop and because of social media and because of greed. That makes me incredibly sad and angry for my daughter and her generation. Because just one "thing" can drive a poor demoralized girl to a social media "support group" that endorses disgusting lies, like you are a better person with a thigh gap. And it's in these places girls might find their worth and encouragement, because someone will feed their hungry souls and pay attention to them. 
     Of course, I realize it's unhealthy and addictive. I don't blame the girls. Oh, it makes my heart heavy the lies they believe. The lies I fell for, and sometimes still get caught up in.
     The question is....what are we going to do about it?
     At our board retreat in October, words of this unrealistic standard "the thigh gap" hung heavy in the air, and God convicted us to begin seeing thigh gaps like He does. It was with that we began to find more girls to share their anti-thigh gap stories in order to publicize Mighty Strong Girls. Today, we are releasing the first in what we hope will be an ongoing series. You can help us share this message by forwarding it on social media and getting the word out about true beauty!
     Here's the video below, which is also embedded in our website and linked to the QR code in the advertisement.
     I'm so thankful for many other organizations that are speaking out, and I'm also humbled and blessed to be part of a media alternative. A magazine. I'm giddy that I get to work with girls who are aware of the messages and working hard to ignore them. They are choosing to not watch or read, as much as they can. Not only that, they are helping to create an alternative — a magazine that questions it all and promotes the positive, true, encouraging, healing stories and images. Real girls. Diverse bodies. Beauty. Beauty as God designed, created and intended. 
     As my husband would say: boo-ya!

Are all girls Mighty Strong Girls?

     I had a couple people suggest that girls featured in Mighty Strong Girls may be upset they aren't chosen for the cover and that we make too big a deal about who is on the cover. 
    From the beginning, I wanted to be open to where God is taking this ministry and fair to all feedback. So I have been thinking and praying a lot about it.
     Here are the truths of the matter: 
     1. Every girl mentioned inside the pages of Mighty Strong Girls deserves to be on the cover. Just like God loves every girl, regardless of her circumstances or sins, I happen to believe no one girl is a "better" cover girl than another. I would put them all on the cover if I could. 
     2. Part of the problem with girls in general is an animosity toward one another. What if all girls in the magazine equally celebrated one another, no matter how many photos they had or how much space their respective stories took up, whether they were on the cover or the last page? 
     Have you ever heard the song "So Beautiful" by Superchick? 
     The lyrics I particularly love: 
     "If every girl could see her beauty, we would be an army
     We are a thousand voices strong
     We are each girl who sings this song
     We are a beauty that's our own"

     One of my frustrations of being a teen girl waaaaaaay back when was that we didn't lift one another up, instead we tore each other down. What if girls collaborated instead? What if all Christian girls had a pact that they would only say kind and encouraging things to AND about one another? What if all Christian girls saw her unique beauty and embraced it confidently, not arrogantly, as God would want her to? 
     Well, this is what Mighty Strong Girls is about! This is my secret wish for ALL girls! That she would embrace true love,  true love that is kind and rejoices in the truth and not a love that is arrogant, envious, evil, boastful, self-seeking or easily angered. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
     3. Mighty Strong Girls puts ordinary girls on the cover, not celebrity girls, professional models or even celebrity Christian girls. I think it's OK to have a special night to celebrate an ordinary girl, because the reality is most girls are ordinary girls even the so-called celebrity Christian girls. I view it as a celebration of each girl, not a night to put only one girl on a pedestal. 
     When we held a cover unveiling, it was fun to surprise the girl on the cover. It was a special night for special girls. The evening wasn't just about the girl on the cover, it was to celebrate the entire issue, with others sharing testimonies and singing praise and worship music. It was a night to celebrate the vision of Mighty Strong Girls — that girls can and should see their unique value and lift one another up. 
     
     I've had plenty of time to pray and think, and interestingly (AND frustratingly) enough, I haven't come to a definitive conclusion. So, I'm asking you to help me — PLEASE!
     What do you think about the concept of a magazine? What do you think about unveiling each cover at a special event at that girl's church? Are we making too much fuss over one girl? What do you think about the purpose of the ministry? Are we achieving it? Are we alienating girls?  
     Please, feel free to comment, share your opinions privately or even anonymously! We want to serve these girls in the BEST way, so if we aren't achieving that, I want to hear about it! You cannot possibly offend me with your honest, heartfelt feedback.

     In the meantime, as I pondered and prayed, it occurred to me that even though many girls don't need to be on a magazine cover to have their value affirmed, they would love a reminder that they are certainly worthy of being on a cover. My daughter would LOVE a large print of herself on a Mighty Strong Girls cover to hang in her room as a reminder of how much God loves her and how valuable and amazing she is not only to Him but also to us, her family. 
     If you are interested in helping out the ministry and celebrating your daughter, granddaughter or friend with a Mighty Strong Girls cover poster, here's the information for this fundraiser. It makes a great Christmas or birthday gift and 100 percent of the proceeds will go to Mighty Strong Girls. If you are interested in purchasing one, please email adenney02@yahoo.com. 
     If you sign up as a monthly contributor to Mighty Strong Girls, we would love to give you one as a gift. If you are already giving to this ministry, we would love to gift you one, too! (Complimentary 8x10 for those giving up to $49 per month and 16x20 for those giving $50 and more.)
 
8x10
mounted on 2mm styrene board, ready to frame — $35
standout mount, 3/4 inch, ready to hang without frame — $50

16x20
mounted on 2mm styrene board, ready to frame — $80
standout mount, 3/4 inch, ready to hang without frame — $120
  
So if you want to order one (see sample below), just do these two things: 

1. Email me the size and style, plus the girl's name and a photo to adenney02@yahoo.com. It must be 2MB, 300 dpi and have the top one-fourth of the image open for the Mighty Strong Girls flag. Professional images must come with a copyright release!

I am setting up some availability for photos in Athens this Saturday and next Saturday mornings if you would like to send her for a new photo. The fee for this service is $10. 

2.  Pick a "new name" for your daughter from the list below, and we will coordinate the bottom scripture to suit her name. 
Joy
Beautiful
Fearless
Faithful
Truth
Pure
Forgiven
Secure
Beloved
Accepted
Light
Grace
Hope
Healed
Peace
Freedom
Chosen
Glorious
Conqueror
Treasure
Lovely
Mercy
Love
Faith
Belonging
Warrior

The power of giving

     Today is "Giving Tuesday," the last day in a long string of days that follow Thanksgiving and dictate how people could spend their money. 
     My life has literally been changed because of giving. Not just on this one day, but the spirit of giving has transformed my entire family and our faith.
     A little more than a year ago, the generosity of one church and one family (and some credit card debt I'm ashamed to admit!) allowed for the launch of something new. A faith-based magazine for girls, by girls, about girls. A healthy portrayal of girls, and a place for godly advice. 
     There were no advertisers or promises of giving. Just a commitment that I would keep following God if He wanted Mighty Strong Girls to continue. I have to admit — it was scary at times and still is! I have acted outside of His will on occasion, and my own stubborn nature was ready to call it quits more than once in the first six months (mostly because of my shortcomings!). 
     But Mighty Strong Girls is the first thing I've done because it was the right thing to do. Sometimes the people around me saw that more clearly than I did and lifted me up in moments of weakness! 
     The reason there are so many magazines filled with paid advertising is because it works. 
     Statistically speaking, however, women and girls want media that portrays their gender as it really is — diverse in size, shape, color and age. Seventy-five percent want what's real. But nobody is doing that. Not because it can't work but because they are uncertain if it will, since the other way IS proven to work. 
     The power of giving is showing me that not only can it work, it IS working!
     Mighty Strong Girls is not about me. It's not about what I want, because if I'm honest, I don't want risk — financial or otherwise! — or slow growth or the potential for failure. I want security. But in spite of me, Mighty Strong Girls IS working!
     God gave me so many wonderful sisters and brothers in Christ. This ministry represents the body of Christ, and each one does its part with Christ as the head. It's still risky and slow and has the potential to "fail" in the world's eyes. But Mighty Strong Girls IS working.
     Because we don't consider anything a failure that God called us to, that reaches even one girl or gives hope to just one someone living in darkness. Because everyONE matters to God, Mighty Strong Girls IS working!
     Today, there is one paid advertiser and 16 regular donors. Sixteen families who believe in the message of Mighty Strong Girls enough to make a sacrifice for its message to come to life in print. Sixteen families who want girls to get their wisdom from a godly source. Some give $20 a month, and some give more than $100. And with our giving at $554 a month, we are now able to print and distribute a minimum of 250 copies of each issue. I know that for some of my donors — no, for all of my donors — the sacrifice is very real. 
     That's the power of belief. That's the desire to reach this generation that is ignored in so many ways. Look at the number of Christian resources for children and adults, and then compare it to teens. The ones who need it the most — forgotten. But Mighty Strong Girls IS working!
     God brought wonderful people to my life, my husband especially, who hold me up and don't want me to give up no matter how hard it gets. No matter the criticism or the challenges or the financial obstacles. There are 16 families who believe, too, and thanks to them, Mighty Strong Girls is real, in print and it IS working. It's offering hope that comes from Jesus. 
     How amazing is that? 250 copies, and some magazines have an  "pass-along" rate of up to five or more especially when they are sitting in waiting rooms, which is where many of our partners put their copies! So, more than 1,000 girls are looking, reading and flipping through Mighty Strong Girls. 
     That's the power of giving. 
     We crave for Mighty Strong Girls to grow, to reach more, to be available on the shelf of a retail store. To get there, we need to be able to regularly print at least 2,000 copies of each issue.
     A year ago, we thought the answer to that was advertising. But instead of bringing advertisers, God brought people. In one year, Mighty Strong Girls came alive in print because of the generosity of people who believe, who aren't selling products or benefiting financially from their investments. They simply want to change a girl's life, to give her hope. 
     In the next year, instead of relying on what we think or desire or what seems to make sense, I would like to set aside my expectations and wisdom and exchange it for God's. He has already revealed part of His plan, and it's working so much better than mine!
     Will you join us in prayer to seek the will of God for Mighty Strong Girls and how we can reach this generation of girls? Please pray that I will not only see what He wants me to do but be obedient. And that my board will also seek to know and follow God in this ministry, too. 
      A week from today, the board will meet and pray about these issues. I know we will hear God more clearly if you are holding us up in prayer, and we thank and appreciate you for it!

Finding joy through thanksgiving

I love the Facebook tradition of using the month of Thanksgiving to post a daily public acknowledgement of what we are grateful for, but I only remember to read my Bible because I write it on the wall — literally. So, I don't set myself up for disappointment with such lofty goals.  My memory simply can't keep up!

I did get the opportunity to reflect on gratitude with two challenges from two friends — one who shared this:

Ask God to open your eyes to the many things in your life that speak to His presence. Look for and record evidence of God around you. Today, start a thankful journal listing the many things around you for which you are thankful. It’s amazing, the more we recognize even the smallest things as gifts from God, the more we start to realize how present He is in our lives.

And another who gave me a journal. 

Before I got the journal, I set aside a few moments just to write as much as I could about what I'm thankful for. These are the words that fell to my paper:

What am I thankful for? 

MY MOTHER for choosing life for me when she gave birth to me but fled from her first, unhealthy marriage. 
MY FATHER for loving and choosing me. 
MY SISTERS for putting up with me — the good, the bad and the ugly. 
MY BUMPY ROAD — every ridiculous relationship, all the bad advice and the many failures. For I could never find success if I wasn't brave enough to go out and risk failure by trying.
MY AMAZING HUSBAND who only God could know would perfectly suit me the way he does. 
MY EDUCATION because not all girls are so privileged. How blessed am I to live in a country where I could get a master's degree and not fear my safety while attending even elementary and high school in my community. 
MY CHILDREN who humble, amaze and inspire me every day. They are so unique and full of personality. They challenge me to want more out of life. 
MY CHURCH FAMILY who have truly been there for me, showed up for me, loved me, served me and supported me in countless ways!
MY IN-LAWS who loved me like their own, enveloping me into a family that offers me a second set of parents and more joy and encouragement than I deserve. 
MY AMAZING MIGHTY STRONG GIRLS GIRLFRIENDS who give me a healthy perspective of friendship. They bless me, and I love these women. These ladies are the heart and soul of this ministry, and they are like sisters to me. 
MY SAVIOR who died for me, extends me grace and loves me like no other. God has been the life-changer for me, as I came to understand the gift of Jesus, the reality of faith and the evidence of the Holy Spirit. I only wish I had come to the conclusion that God is real and He loves me much sooner. 

As I reviewed this initial list, it occurred to me it had nothing tangible on it. Nothing I can hold or display in a shadow box. No luxurious house, no cars, no vacations, no career. Nothing in a "black Friday" advertisement. Just relationships. 

I'm relieved. I think I'm starting to figure this thing out. Life isn't a list of "stuff" or even a checklist (bucket list?) of experiences. It's not how many days I've clocked in at a job or the number of digits on a paycheck. It's not what I've done or what I've got. It's people I'm most grateful for. It's relationships that bring me joy. 

I've begun my journal. In my notebook, I plan to record ALL things that bring me joy in the past and present. Those moments, people, smells, experiences, tastes and reminders that fill me with gratitude. 

God's word for me in 2014 is JOY. And not only do I think He wants it for me, I believe He wants me to run after it, to have reckless abandon to pursue it. In the good times and in the bad. Joy comes when I can reflect on the little things, the relationships and the gifts from God that I'm so thankful to have in my life. Joy comes in the stressful moments, too, when I choose to put my mind in a place where it's always looking for what fills me up with thanksgiving.

Will you join me? Grab a small notebook. Carry it everywhere. Write it in. In the good times and in the bad. In the delightful moments and in the dark, painful times. Find the life things to be grateful for....the people, the promises, the smells, sounds, tastes and sights that fill up your heart. 

Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

     As you have approached this your 11^th birthday, I’ve watched the transition beginning. A girl adopting the traits of a young woman. It seems opportune for me to share with you some of my words. Words of reflection. Words of love. Words of encouragement. Maybe even words of inspiration.

     You already know that I never wanted to be the mom of a daughter. I wanted boys — two boys to be exact. They seemed somehow easier, less complicated. Being the mom of boys, I figured, would give me more confidence in my own parenting abilities. It would make me “look good.” I'm glad you and I can laugh about this now!

     God clearly had other plans.

     You were His plan. I was His plan. For us, He had an amazing vision. That you would challenge me to see the world differently. That you would allow me a glimpse into the world of ADHD. That you would inspire me to see others as the beautiful, unique creations they are. That you would allow me to love without judging. That you would give me grace as we stumbled along this mother-daughter thing without worrying about whether we were doing it “right” but that we would do it as a team — constantly extending grace to one another as we messed up.

     Even in my wildest dreams, I never saw you, Abby. I never imagined I would have a daughter like you. As I write this, I try to think of adjectives for your awesomeness but they seem somewhat constricting — bold, strong, feminine, creative, unique, infectious, compassionate. These won’t do. They box you in. You are you. And you are amazing. There aren’t adequate adjectives for you, my dear.

     God has such great plans. He is the Mighty One.

Because of you, I loved Katie when I didn’t even know her. Because of you and Katie, I was open to hearing God when He gave me a glimpse of His vision for girls — Mighty Strong Girls — and invited me (incapable, imperfect, despicable me) to be part of His amazing plans.

     Abby, it’s because of you. But it’s because you allow God to flow through you. God is at work in you, and if you allow Him, He will always be at work in you.

     To you, Mighty Strong Girls is awesome because it’s a publication, because it reminds girls that they are wonderfully and uniquely made, because it’s a place where creativity and uniqueness reign.

     What you probably don’t know about Mighty Strong Girls is that it has a list of values. Values, as you know, are the characteristics, traits and behaviors that guide our lives. As I wrote the values for Mighty Strong Girls, I was thinking of you.

     And so for your 11^th birthday, I want to begin a tradition of wishing these for you.

     I wish for you to: 

·      Always value a positive, healthy and Biblical portrayal of girls and women.
    

I hope you will understand always why it’s not healthy to objectify another human being. That means, I hope you never think of or treat a person like a “thing.” Sometimes we do this in subtle ways, like using Photoshop to make a girl have plastic-looking skin or shave a few inches from her waist or remove her beautiful freckles.
Nobody likes to talk about it, but the truth is sometimes girls sexualize other girls, too. That means we believe another girl’s worth comes from her sex appeal, or how desirable (ie., pretty, gorgeous, hot, sexy) she is to boys. People aren’t meant to be consumed, and when we use words like this, it reduces them to “eye candy.” Candy is a thing, not a person. How we portray and view each other must always be centered on the human element of who they are and who God designed them to be!

·       Value purity.
This is a big concept that we will talk about a lot as you get older. But for now, it means dressing in a way that accentuates your inner self and doesn’t draw excessive or inappropriate attention to your physical being. More importantly, it means guarding your innocence. God loves His children, especially the young children. Because they aren’t overly critical, judgmental or poisoned by the toxic effects of the world. Your innocence is a gift. Cherish it and embrace your childhood for as long as you want! Don’t watch shows or movies designed for adults; don’t listen to music that de-values life; don’t surround yourself with people who want you to do more grown-up things to be acceptable to them. Being pure not only honors God, but it also will allow you to rise to be the best version of you that God designed. You will love yourself and live with fewer regrets when you choose purity!

• value authenticity and honesty. 
  I know this is an area you struggle with, and I understand why! Sometimes I make you feel shameful for things like taking food into your room at night, breaking the rules, etc. I hate what that does to you! No matter how shameful someone makes you feel about being honest, never shy away from telling the truth. Sometimes shame helps us see the bad behaviors we have that God wants us to change, and even though it feels uncomfortable, it’s a good thing for us. Sometimes shame just makes us want to keep covering up lies with more lies. Even if your behavior is a sin, God doesn’t want you to hide it from others. He cannot help you overcome bad behavior if it’s hidden in the dark. I want you to never feel so ashamed about something that you need to lie. Be honest, and God will meet you where you’re at. He will bring people in your life to help you conquer whatever stronghold is causing you to stumble. He loves you immensely, even when you fail. Don’t be afraid of failing occasionally. Never forget that you are never a failure to God or to me just because you sometimes fail! I just read a story about Mother Theresa saying that when our failures bring us closer to God, it's like being "kissed by Jesus." What a beautiful picture of the grace of being real.
  
  
• value prayer. 
  Part of being an honest and authentic person is living in the light. That means sharing your life with God and people you trust. Always keep an open dialogue with God. You can talk to Him throughout the day. You can talk to Him during devoted times of the day — morning, evening and at meals. You can even talk to Him in a prayer journal. Journals are awesome, because you can go back and see how He has answered prayers. It’s a great tool to grow your faith!
  
  
• value a world view.
  Don’t be afraid to educate yourself about the past and the present. It’s important to know the issues that others face. Girls just like you living in poverty, exploitation (remember those children working in toy factories in China!) and hunger. It’s important that you know girls like you are living on the other side of the globe with diseases like HIV/AIDS, pnueumonia and cholera which are not their fault and they are easily treatable if they have access to medicine.
  It’s important to know your past, too. You should know the struggles that women faced to give you the rights you have today. It’s important to embrace all of this with an attitude of gratitude, rather than bitterness and anger.  Never forget God has a plan for you and for oppressed girls across the globe. If you thank Him for what He has already done and what He’s doing, He will reveal to you how He is at work in these situations. He never leaves any of us! When you have that clear vision, you will be able to hear Him when He calls you to do His work — whether it’s right here or in another country or culture. Not only can you be part of the solution, I believe you ARE! God wants to use His people to change the world. That’s you, my dear Abby!
  
• value creation of local and global communities of like-minded believers.
  Use the Internet, your blog, the resources of Mighty Strong Girls and your creativity not only to connect with other girls like you but to communicate with them. When someone does or shares something with you that has an impact on you and your faith, let her know! That affirmation girls can (but often don’t) graciously give one another builds you all up and creates an army that will be unstoppable! Be a girl who lifts up and doesn’t tear down other girls. 
  
• value discipleship. 
  Never ever be afraid to share the Gospel. Sometimes that’s telling someone about Jesus. Other times it’s sharing your own testimony about how God has worked in your life. And every day you can be His disciple when you allow Him to use you to be the hands, feet and mouth of Jesus!
  
• value a commitment of service. 
  Jesus was the ultimate servant! Never stop thinking about how you can serve others. I feel I don’t need to say much about this, because you already know. You are so giving and compassionate, and that’s what makes you an equal member of the body of Christ. Serving will encourage and inspire not only others but also you! Nothing is more awesome than seeing the Body of Christ come alive when the members share resources with one another. When you serve, you become a living example of Jesus. Serving is contagious when you do it with joy in your heart!
  
• value daily Bible reading. 
  I know this is also a struggle for you, but stay in the word of God. This is one way He speaks to you! If you can’t stay focused on it, use the audio Bible, read devotions, read stories and graphic novels based on the word. There are many creative ways you can continue to be in His word. It’s so exciting to get encouragement from Him, but it’s also through this commitment that you can be sure He is giving you directions for your life. Trust God with prayer and Bible reading, and watch Him do huge things in your life and in the world. 

I love you, dear Abby.

From your blessed momma