Do you ever feel like God is nudging you to do something, yet you are holding back?
There are some things in life I'm certain of, and one of those is that all God wants from me is obedience. My obedience, which looks far different than the obedience of His other children, is always a battle. I'm a stubborn control-freak of a child. True story.
It's also a fact that being obedient to God helps me with so much more than my faith. It keeps my eyes on Him so as to not be bound by jealousy or bitterness. It keeps me squarely in His purpose for me alone. It helps me to see through His eyes, so I'm more apt to love and pray for other people and use my gifts for His glory.
Typically, being obedient to Him means I have little time to worry about the sins of others, criticize, judge or condemn. If I'm honest, doing what He tells me usually involves me working on my sins and purpose, so He can give me freedom to soar in my identity in Christ.
But there was this one thing He asked me to do four years ago that I stubbornly dig my heels in about every chance I get.
God made it clear to me that I am to share stories of myself and to do so authentically, using my voice through writing on this blog and other publications. Part of me loved this calling, because I have always had a deep passion for writing. But there was part of me holding back from the very beginning.
The authentically part. Because being authentic means being honest with yourself and exploring areas of the depth of your soul you may not really want to. Subjects that are dark and difficult. Parts of me I'd rather hide.
I did not want to bring these into the light. So like most defiant children, I didn't. I wrote about what I wanted to write about and ignored the truths He laid out in front of me.
I cannot tell you how detrimental this was to my health and particularly how it affected not just my spiritual being but my physical and emotional selves, too. (See above. The parts about jealous, bitterness, love and gifts. Yep, I was regularly a hot mess of ugliness!)
Not long ago I read an article about the hidden sins of Christians. Two of them stood out at me as if God Himself had gotten out His bright pink highlighter for my sake: hypocrisy and caring more about what other people think than what God thinks.
I have a real problem with hypocrisy, as you can tell.
You see, I was holding back complete obedience to God in my writing and blogging because I thought to do so would make me seem arrogant. I like to think of one of my spiritual strengths as humility. I like to serve, and I highly value those amazing servants who do so without much fanfare or praise, whose work is so far behind the scenes that maybe, just maybe, God is the only witness. I don't like being in the limelight; I never have. So to say that writing about my struggles — some that I've overcome and some that are sins I still wrestle with — would be outside my comfort zone is the understatement of the decade. My history in writing is to interview other people and write their stories, not to write my own.
There were other factors at play, too.
Fear of criticism and judgement, fear that others would view me as prideful, an unlikely expert for writing about the topics I'm called to write about. Not surprisingly, fear is the subject of an upcoming Mighty Strong Girls publication, and God was revealing to me through others' writing submissions how I was letting my fear rule me and keep me from obedience.
So I balked. Over and over, I let me fear trump my calling.
A few weeks ago, my pastor preached about Nehemiah and how God used Him to rebuild the temple as God wants to use us to rebuild our lives, His church and His kingdom.
It resonated with me, as God has recently been rebuilding my life, and I realized I was not walking in full with His beautiful purpose for me because of my disobedience.
I know my calling. That much is clear. But I'm distracted by other things that seem tempting. I'm distracted by fear and criticisms.
That sermon opened my eyes to the fact that I'm getting in my own way with my disobedience. I am blocking God from using me for the very purposes He designed me for!
God never promised I wouldn't face criticism, so in a way, my fears are founded on fact.
But why do we think for one moment that to walk in His will as we walk toward our purpose that He will reward us by lavishing us with constant blessings. Jesus' disciples made sacrifices. They were mocked. They, too, had fears and doubts.
Fears have never been powerful enough to stop destiny! Take my fear of childbirth, for instance. I did it — three times, mind you — and lived to tell the tale. It's walking through and facing those fears that builds our faith and our testimony.
To bring our stories into the light...it's not about us anyway, especially when He calls us to do it. Even when we don't like the way He wants us to do it. Who am I to think I know better than Him the way in which I'm to do His work.
It is encouraging for me to remember that Nehemiah and Daniel and Jesus' disciples and David and even Jesus Himself were not immune to fears, temptations and doubts. However, they did not change the fact that these men had great work at hand for their lives, God's church and His kingdom.
So do I.
And so do you.
I've been emotionally charged and fired up since I first saw the Time magazine cover with a 3-year-old boy standing on a stool breastfeeding. Yet every time I've taken pen to paper, I can't find the words.
The truth is the 'old me' could spew venom with words alongside the best of them. Just ask anyone who's been the recipient of one of my stinging emails in the past! They'll tell you. It's true. I can fire up hate in the written format.
Or at least I could. But lately it seems God's given me this gift to mince words. Instead of reacting, I stop, breathe and contemplate my next move. Which always seems to be prayer. And then I'm suddenly at peace and don't feel the need to say or write anything, least of all hateful words.
Well, at least I've perceived this as a gift until now. Because I'm angry about this, and it's causing some serious writer's block...and possibly profanity. Sorry about that. I'm so angry that I really want to write something using lots of four-letter words. You see I'm still struggling to find the right words, so please bear with me!
I have been praying, and I have been reading what others have to say about this intentionally shocking photograph. And it's interesting really, the conversations that are occurring.
Sadly, all too often they're the wrong ones. Since I've stopped, breathed and prayed and still feel the need to voice my opinion, here it is. Take it or leave it. I don't care. It simply needs to come out.
The supposed issue at hand in this divisive mothering article: attachment parenting. Good or not good?
I'm so sick and tired of the criticisms of moms and women, scattered throughout advertising and media in our country. Pitting woman against woman, forcing us to decide one way or another. As if there's only ONE right way to be a mom. Why have we not embraced the beauty of motherhood in all its diversity?
I'll tell you why not.
Time selected a 90-pound mother in skinny jeans for the cover shot. What an unrealistic portrayal of mother to begin with. What is the message we're sending here? The ONE right way to be a woman so typically and disgustingly predictable of the media. Thin. Fashionable. Blemish-free. Calm. In a word: Perfect. Just like these 'mommy wars' suggest there's only one way you can be the perfect mom.
Pardon me, but it's simply bullshit.
No wonder our teenage girls are suffering from so many mental health issues that they carry right on into adulthood.
Mind you I just returned from Africa, where literally a village will help raise a child because a mother couldn't possibly be expected to do it alone. Because that's the reality! There's no taboo about a woman exposing her breasts in public to nurse her baby, or toddler, or preschooler. Oh, the joy and beauty of open-mindedness!
So let's talk about the real issue here: we live in a society that thrives on comparisons and criticisms. If the so-called Joneses have it, then it must be good and we must all go get it. If you don't have what the Joneses have, there absolutely must be something wrong with you.
And so, here is my wish list for what the Joneses would get so the rest of us will go chasing it, too. Don't worry, it's not a long list. Are you ready?
EYES LIKE GOD'S.
So women will see themselves as the beautiful creations they are.
So the media moguls will begin to portray women for what they really are: diverse and amazing.
So we will stop picking at the specks in our sister's or brother's eyes.
So we will help our neighbor in need.
So we will serve one another the way Jesus so lovingly illustrated for us.
So we will all be MOM ENOUGH! To love unconditionally. To care for, embrace and encourage ALL children, not just our own. 'Cause that's what women here used to do, you know, until we as a society decided there's something morally wrong with us helping one another out in this incredibly challenging task of raising our children to be the best they can be.
Let's stop picking on moms. Because the truth is there are 143 million+ orphans who would take a mom regardless of whether or not she supports attachment parenting, prefers formula over breastfeeding, works outside the home or stays home, uses clothe diapers or disposable ones, allows her kids to have a cell phone or not.
Do you see what I'm saying? These are NOT the real issues!
According to UNICEF, there are more orphans than the entire population of Russia.
Did you know....
Every day, 5,760 more children in our world become orphans?
Every 2.2 seconds, an orphan ages out with no family or home.
Older orphans are often victimized. They are prone to abuse, suicide, prostitution, slavery, being turned into child soldiers and immorality.
If you think for a moment this isn't your problem, this is where you're wrong. These children aren't all in developing countries. There are hundreds of thousands of them in the foster care system in the United States. There are neglected and abused children and orphans in your community.
Every year, about 25,000 children age out of foster care at age 18. Of them:
* 25 percent become homeless.
* 56 percent enter the unemployment ranks.
* 27 percent of emancipated male foster children end up in jail.
* 30 percent of emancipated female foster children experience early parenthood.
What if we took all the energy that is necessary to perpetuate these myths, these lies about womanhood and motherhood and used them to create good?
Time magazine isn't the only one that can go for the shock factor. Let's start a movement that goes against the expectations for humankind! Let's BE MOM ENOUGH to change these statistics.
Because the truth is if we really have eyes like God, together we can change the numbers.
“Defend the cause of the weak and the fatherless; Maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Deliver the weak and needy from the hand of the wicked.” Psalm 82:3-4
There were other factors at play, too. 