Praise God for my husband and his heart for missions!

One of the "things" that was holding me back when God called me to Africa this spring was that Dan had JUST decided to go to the Ukraine on a summer mission trip with Athens Christian Church.


He went to the informational meeting. And what my heart (selfishly) desired was that he would come back and announce that we were both going to the Ukraine. We were eager to get back into short-term missions! 


However, the trip would be very task-oriented. Very manual labor task-oriented. I am a weak assistant for my project-loving husband when it comes to moving simple furniture. This was NOT the trip for me! They would be digging a cellar, moving or building (I'm fuzzy on the boring construction-related details!) a wall and putting in a ceramic tile floor. All very appropriate and fitting tasks for Dan. It was like the trip description was written with him in mind. No orphans to photograph. No stories to collect. Not even a VBS to plan. 


And so when I was called to Africa and then finally admitted to myself that the trip was a good fit for me and would definitely fulfill a need for Rick and Paula, I still hesitated. Because of finances. Because Dan already committed to this trip; he was emotionally tied in and eager to go! I didn't want to destroy that, and two big, expensive trips for each of us in one year seemed unlikely. Especially since I'd just left my job and we were -- for the first time ever -- a one-income family. 


But God indeed provided the first time around, and I have complete and total faith that he will again. Despite Dan not getting "paid time off" with his job. Despite the frustratingly slow trickle of work I'm getting. Despite the fact that we're still waiting on his passport (a long story I PRAY I won't have to blog about!)


Just today, a family member handed us a check for $175 to "feed the kids" while he's gone. How awesome is that?!? 


Dan will go to the Ukraine with a pastor from ACC and two other construction worker types. They have a long list to accomplish, not a lot of resources where they're going and a small crew. 


Will you pray that God will provide in mighty ways for them? That he would allow them to complete projects in a way and pace they hadn't imagined? And that they would all grow in a brotherhood of faith with a spiritual renewal that fills them up? 


These short-term commitments are scary for us -- not because we're afraid of the work or the place we're going or the things we're doing. Financially they have ALWAYS been hard to plan for because we don't get "paid days off." So even if we raise enough money to cover the cost of the trip itself, the bills still come even though the paycheck doesn't! Will you also pray that Dan's trip doesn't financially set us back? Pray his employer would see the good in it and pay for his time off, or even better that he would reach someone back home for Christ through his actions! 


In the past, we've always planned ahead for trips like this. Lately, we're living on faith and it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do! 


But it's a choice we made when we agreed to be obedient to God's will for our lives. After we noticed this one disturbing trend: In the six months I was working full time, making more money than ever, we weren't doing ANYTHING at all mission related. We weren't even financially contributing to any causes, despite all that extra income. Then Dan got sick. And I became miserable in my job. God made us aware that we'd turned our back on something that used to be our passion. 


If we want to take a vacation (we've taken three week-long vacations in our 12 years of marriage), we have to work more or save more. Or, we can work more or save more for a LIFE-CHANGING experience. 


Dan has never complained. Never grumbled that he doesn't get to relax on the beach or jet set somewhere exotic. If it comes down to a choice, he WANTS the mission trip. Spiritually, emotionally, mentally (maybe not physically!), he comes back more refreshed and renewed. So it's a no-brainer for him. And, while I'm more likely than he is to want an exotic vacation, I must admit if I had to choose one or the other for the remainder of my life, I would go on mission trips. They really are that great!


Today I want to praise God for Dan. For the awesome servant I married who is such a courageous husband and dad. For a man, who despite major physical pain and challenges in the last two years, isn't afraid to push forward, to travel halfway around the world to a remote village in the Ukraine and be the hands and feet and mouth of God! 





I almost forgot...praise God (I think!) for a husband who isn't too proud to buck cultural norms and put on a skirt when the mountains are colder than he expected on our first mission trip to Mexico. Yes, he really did this, and the Mexicans asked that he never return. No, I'm kidding. We have no idea what they said. We don't speak Spanish. But I'm thinking one of those beautiful African patterns would look lovely on him. I wonder what the Africans would say! 

How can you live a life that matters?

God undoubtedly called me to a trip to Africa. It was eerie, because it was so clear and distinct. And it caused me to fear God, as we all should in a healthy sort of way. Not obeying suddenly was more scary to me than obeying -- despite the fact that I would operate outside my comfort zone to further his will for me. 


The comment I heard most often was "You're faith is so strong." Or, "I don't think I could do that."


Oddly enough, those are similar to words I said the first several times I met and talked to Paula Miller, the very missionary I visited and assisted in Africa this past April. Her response resonates so deeply with me now, and was confirmed at a recent sermon at my church preached from Deuteronomy 28. A summary -- obedience is blessed; disobedience is cursed. 


Another comment I got was, "God's never spoken to me like that." 


I believe God talks to all of us; sometimes we simply aren't actively listening. His word itself gives us the directions we need to be obedient. 


Still, it's clear that everyone can't obey every single command of Jesus' in the same way. Not everyone is called to do the SAME thing, or to sell everything they own, but we are ALL called. I love this video and what it reminds me about obedience and how being obedient doesn't always necessarily mean an audible voice of God. Sometimes it's just doing what we know in our heart to be right because he told us it is.


You can check out the video HERE.


Is his written word (instruction manual) enough for us? Or is this where we create "holes" in the Gospel? I have absolutely cut out holes in my Gospel. I've repented, and now I crave the opportunities and abilities to fulfill his word. 


If you're interested in EXACTLY how God wants to use us to help around the world or in our own backyards, check out these specific scriptures at World Vision's Web site HERE. Read them, meditate on them, pray about them, incorporate them in your life in a way that makes sense and has an impact! I can't wait to get started! Can you?

Hanging out in the waiting room

Romans 5:3-5 (The Message)
There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!


Have you ever arrived for a doctor appointment only to find the waiting room brimming with people and illness? Naturally it's a day when your to-do list is longer than your weekly grocery list. And you can just feel your teeth gritting and grinding in frustration and annoyance as you sit and stew for minutes, then an hour and you haven't even been called back yet. "What the...."





What if you instead turned your entire perspective around. You walk in and excitedly realize you might get a whole hour -- to pray, read your Bible, meditate. What a gift from God that you can set everything aside and focus on him and what really matters most. Passionately patient!


Right now, I'm in one of life's waiting rooms. God called me to leave my full-time job with nothing lined up to replace lost income and help pay our mounting medical debts. Then he called me to go to Africa without even a dollar to finance my own trip. Why would he do this? Why am I still sitting here jobless? 


It would be easy to complain, and don't get me wrong -- I have bad days and get stressed! But God has already shown me he will provide. He DID provide -- every last penny for my mission trip. And while we're not making much headway on medical bills, I was just able to pay all our bills in the third month of me being unemployed with a few odd jobs here and there. 


This, how ever ridiculous it may sound, is my choosing. Yes, I COULD get a job. I am perfectly capable. But when I prayed in January that I would surrender myself to God's will, I made a commitment that I would have faith and let him worry about the details. Sound nuts? We're such control freaks about our lives that it is very, very difficult to walk where he leads! Well, he very clearly led me to Africa and then worked out every last detail. What a faith strengthening exercise that was!


So I'm back in the waiting room, reminding myself not to get frustrated. God has called me again, and I am working toward obedience. Can I follow him in faith without losing hope? Can I shout my praises in worship while hemmed with troubles? I think I MUST, because I promised and he's never let me down yet. And he has a promise, too...that he will show me what to do if I am alert (which is hard to do when I'm annoyed and frustrated!), that I will become virtuous in my waiting, that I will not feel shortchanged and that he will pour generously into my life through the Holy Spirit. 


Wow. Making a choice about how I view my waiting room seems quite easy in light of this! I will wait, excitedly, for him to keep his promises to me!

Angry and sad and confusing....oh my!

Warning: This post is harsh, but it gets better. So please in the name of all that's decent and right in this world, stick with it, love me in my unlovable state and read it all the way through!


Lately I've been sad a lot. God's really breaking my heart for the things that break his. And it's, well, really truly heart-breaking in ways I never knew I could be be heartbroken. 


For instance, I couldn't listen to an NPR story on chronic acute malnutrition in a Yemen village this morning without bawling. 


Maybe because I've seen it...face-to-face. And "it" has a name. Lots of names. Sadly I didn't even get this woman's name, because I had to walk away. I could not muster a single word, and I was "working" lest I cry right then and there! She has given birth to eight children. Three of them are currently walking the earth. She has named and then said good-bye to five of her own, burying them in the ground before they had a chance to grow up. And here's the thing: It's not a fluke. This is one of many, many sobering realities for the poorest on our planet. Did she do something to deserve this life? Just try to look one of them in the eyes and ever say or think it. The reality is THIS COULD BE YOU. The only difference between this woman and me is the place we were born. 

I've also been angry lately. Oh, so angry. At God somewhat for the state of our world, for not giving me more resources to help the heartbroken. But mostly at other people. With their new cars, vacations, ridiculous "toys," weekly mani/pedis, rituals that involve their hair. You get the point. I'm angry at how it seems people take things for granted. I am angry at the reality that a mom in Africa is forced to wait a week to take her dying child to see a doctor because she doesn't have $1 -- the amount it takes to get a cab and get there.


Did you know that Americans spend $31 billion on their pets every year, $13 billion on plastic surgery, $65 billion on jewelry and an astounding $705 billion on entertainment and recreation? 


Did you know if every American church-goer tithed, there would be an extra $168 billion? To eliminate the most extreme poverty on the planet for more than a billion people, it would require 40 percent of that -- $65 billion. 


These numbers -- presented in "The Hole in Our Gospel" -- kind of make me more sad. 



I am angry, too, because the place where I come from -- my upbringing, my world -- put such a high value on "things," more stuff and achievement that is tied to a dollar figure. I watch as people I love look down their noses at their own family members who can't "afford" a car or boat or RV (loan) and snub their own blood, blaming them for not being successful enough to pay their own way. 


Then I wonder where my parents would have been without the occasional handout from my grandparents or where we would be without my parents helping out. Certainly we wouldn't have paid off all our debt without the occasional shoes, back-to-school clothes and food that my own and my husband's parents have aided us with over the years. And without their help, how could we possibly leave a legacy for our own children. How can we teach them what money means if we aren't showing them? 


1 Timothy 6:17-19 says "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they make take hold of life that is truly life."


I love the way Richard Stearns also describes the parable Jesus tells in Matthew 25:14. The master gives to each "according to his ability," but what he expects is that we multiply our gifts for his kingdom. I want my kids to know: It all comes from God; we are not entitled to it but entrusted with it and we are to use it to further his kingdom. 


God talks to us more about money than most any other subject. He WANTS us to have wisdom in this matter. This I know well, but I'm reading along thinking of all the people I know who could do so much to further God's kingdom, to end pain and suffering, to feed the poor, to help a woman in Africa watch her children grow past age 5 or get a cab to see a doctor. I was literally getting mad at what the people in my life are NOT doing. Can you imagine my indignation and self-righteousness? 


Then I read on in Stearns' book last night to discover that 87 percent of non-churchgoers view Christians as judgmental, 85 percent view Christians as hypocritical, 70 percent view us as insensitive to others and 72 percent believe we are out of touch with reality. 


Yikes. Was he writing that for me? 


And so I MUST turn the table if I am to call myself a Christian. I must get that darned plank out of my eye. Because to be Christian is to be Christ-like. And besides loving ALL people, Christ was forgiving, revolutionary, truthful, radical and genuine. 


There it is. MUCH WORK is to be done in me. Who am I to be sad or angry and then judgmental when I'm sitting here among the 1 percent of the world's wealthiest people? And then, to make matters worse, look at that scripture in Timothy again. He is calling out the "rich," and while I may not feel rich in my society, the reality is I AM rich, and there's no dollar amount on the call to action here: Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. The time for action is NOW. 


The church doesn't exist within the four walls where I worship every Sunday. And I love this quote in Stearns' book, too, by Billy Sunday: "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."


Will you take this challenge with me, Christian sisters and brothers? Will you take the church to the people? Will you help be the hands, feet and mouth of Jesus? Will you be radical and revolutionary with me? 


Look at the woman above again. She's beautiful, isn't she? She's happy (probably more so than most Americans) and she has faith in a great God who can perform miracles. Brother and sister, WE are her miracle! She is praying for us, for us to be the hands and feet. 


God gave us all the tools and resources to change the world. We have all we need to end poverty. But until we join forces in faith, we can never create the church that God envisioned!

My lovely boy

It's time for me to brag about Ryker, who so often lives in the shadow of his older sister. He is a fantastic young man who has a big heart for God. 


This past spring, when Dan and I coordinated Dave Ramsey's Generation Change, there was an exercise where the kids had to write down 10 "things" they really love. Even though Ryker was not a part of the class, he wanted to participate in the teenagers' activity. After giving them five or so minutes to think about it, then we tell them that they are forced to give away three things and to cross out three. And then three are stolen.....and then three are destroyed in a fire. 


The idea is that the only thing on the list should be JESUS. 


We picked up Ryker's paper -- all folded up after class. I loved the insight into my precious son!


1. Books
2. Jesus (with a backwards 'J')
3. Bible
4. family
5. friends
6. math
7. reading
8. homework (huh?)
9. school
10. the Cardinals


All were crossed off but No. 2. I was just proud to see that Jesus even made the list. Not sure that would have been the case when I was 7.

A little crap helps a garden grow

We all have them -- bad days. Sometimes bad weeks or a string of bad days. Or even just a slump we can't explain, even though we've been in a better mood on a previous "really bad" day. 

I've been kind of slumpy this week -- without much of an explanation. At least not a good one! Abby's on-again, off-again emotional/behavioral highs and lows were affecting me more than her it seemed. She cut a chunk out of her hair; used scissors to carve a divot in her brother's wall (and feeling shame and guilt afterward, "evened" things out by doing the same on her wall!); painted the bottom of spices with blue food color as some kind of torture to me when I took them of the cabinets and got blue all over my hands and couldn't figure out where it had come from; lost a good shoe that we spent 15 minutes looking for and ended up late for camp; wore the same shirt -- dirty -- for three straight days and nights; and other such ADHD-type of impulsiveness that would make this blog too long to read. 

I've been good. No yelling. Lecturing and lots of crying, but no yelling. Grace. Grace. Grace. I'm calling on my "God power" big time; I'm really trying my best to extend grace all over the place! I felt like I was doing good, but the people around me can tell it's bothering me and that I'm not doing the best I can do. I thank God for their accountability and honesty, because they opened me up to hear what God wanted me to experience this morning, and it's too amusing not to share!

Dan is always texting me little "love notes," and while I reply, I rarely initiate. Before you bring out the hate, I have a strict limit on texting on my phone plan. An average of six a day is what I get, and he's a big texter. 

I do love getting his notes, and I started my day on a real "high" after a couple of bad days and wanted to send a quick note to let him know I care. 

"I <3 U!" 

I sent it from the bank parking lot at Bud's corner. And then sixty seconds later, I got stuck behind several big trucks painting the lines on the side of the road. It took me 30 minutes to get to Athens. So much for my productive day I had planned!

Still, I kept a smile on my face. 'Cause that makes everything better, right? 

I needed gas, so I stopped at Casey's. While there, I figured I would fill up the low tire that must have a screw or slow leak that we can't locate because it's been getting low every few days for a couple weeks now. No time or money to deal with it, and air is keeping it at bay. 

I get out and OH MY GOSH!!! I had somehow driven through the white line they painted, and it was splashed up all over and quite high on the passenger side of the Jeep. 

All I could think was that Dan would kill me. Which is humorous, because if you know us then you know I do stupid things all the time like hit the side of the garage with the rear view mirror, run into light poles, hit parked cars, drive through fresh tar that isn't rocked yet. Yet here I am, still alive!

Yes, I've done it all. And every time, I hesitantly pick up the phone to call my husband, hands shaking, tears filling up the corners of my eyes. He knows something is wrong after I've gotten a few words out, and then he yells at me -- for making him think something serious had happened. And replies the same words every single time without fail or hesitation: 

"It's just a car."

My husband. He's so good at GRACE! I need to be more like him to deal with the weeks ahead of Abby off her medication. It WILL be hard. It WILL be frustrating and taxing and emotional and loooooong. But if I can have grace every time without fail, I've done my job. Because she's already filled with regret, shame and self-hatred when she stumbles. She doesn't need a mom who bends down and shoves her face in it. 

Will you pray for me to find it? I could certainly use all the help I can get!

I had to chuckle as I desperately brainstormed how to get the paint problem fixed because I remembered the text. Holy cow! He would probably think I was buttering him up in preparation for the story of my ignorance! (I might have  started some of my post-accident phone calls with "How much do you love me?")

Thank goodness I didn't need to suck up! Next time you see me in my Jeep, there may be some remnants of white paint on the tires. But the paint job itself looks the same as before -- dull, rusted in spots and dinged up from two kids who play basketball and ride bikes around it. 

Thank God for the high-pressure sprayer (with soap) at the car wash this morning. But before I could clean it off, I would step in manure that had apparently been cleaned off the last vehicle in that bay. In fact, the odor was suffocating, and it was wedged in every crevice of my tires, too. And so here's the crappy part. 

I then laughed out loud. Literally. It's good to laugh on a bad day. Smiling makes everything better....right?

I laughed because I was absolutely where God wanted me -- dripping wet, sweating over my stupidity and covered in poop. How can I grow big and strong without that fertilizer? I so needed God's reminder that no matter how much crap I get myself into he'll always be there for me -- extending grace or putting me in the path of loved ones who give me grace and giving me the power of poop. 


I needed to be filled with that grace, love and faith today! I am constantly awed at how he can take lemons and make lemonade and teach me to do the same! 

Thankful for my man of courage!

It seemed fitting that on Sunday morning of Father's Day, as I stood brushing my hair and teeth in our (shared) family bathroom, I could hear my husband patiently readying our two children for church. 


For so many dads who wear these three letters -- D-A-D -- more as a title of burden than blessing, Father's Day is a RIGHT...for them to do as they please, to escape from their children or be pampered by them. Not my husband. There were no such expectations in our home. 


My normal morning routine with the kids is very rush-rush as I follow behind them begrudgingly picking up their messes. But Sunday mornings always offer reprieve -- a chance for me to slow down while Dan picks up the slack. 


Unlike me, he offers patient words of encouragement when they resist brushing their teeth and seeks out teachable -- or laughable -- moments in everything. 


That's because, you see, he has expectations. Expectations of who is to be as a dad and expectations for his own children so they will grow up strong in Christ. 


And so when we arrived at church to Katie Ibbotson's powerful message on a father's expectations as part of the sermon, it was a reminder to me. A reminder that our heavenly Father has expectations for ALL of us. Among those expectations are strong, influential, godly dads for our children. 


Make no mistake: This is NOT just a job for men. Women must also ensure our husbands can be the leaders in our homes -- as God designed them to be. 


Turn on your television and you'll see what society expects in a home (if a father is even present!) -- a father figure who is mocked by his family, the butt of all jokes, stripped of his masculinity and nagged like a "dripping faucet" (doesn't that sound like a Proverb!). 


And because Katie said it so eloquently, she was willing to share her words from Sunday. Here's an excerpt:


"What can a father do for his child?? Have EXPECTATIONS! A father who expects from his child, who sets forth these expectations in the lives of his children impacts not only his children but those who are watching. 


"What expectations?! Which expectations?! The written word of our FATHER in Heaven Himself sets forth the expectations of our fathers. In Romans 12:2, we read: 'Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.'


"Oh... men of courage... Don’t let Hollywood set forth the expectations for your loved ones. Seek his pleasing and perfect will and find the way to show your children what expectations our Father in Heaven has for a home...your home.... Read HIS word, show them what OUR Father in Heaven expects!"


Two of my favorite "daddy" photos of my man of courage. :)