This is my pre post. The introduction to the introduction of the next crazy thing my family is up to.
The reality is that we're not so radical. I truly wish I could be much, much more "out there." Thankfully I've got some good role models in this area, and perhaps half a lifetime left.
It's that "perhaps" that's really been in the driving seat lately.
Have you ever thought about the number of your days? Really and truly thought about it?
Dan's sudden and serious illness nearly two years ago made me think about it. Truly nobody is promised another day, or even another breath.
Which is why I think about the fact that maybe I don't have half a lifetime left.
I have to consider this.
I have to often.
Because if I don't, I get caught up in laundry, dinner, housework, kids' schedules, church schedules, ministry stuff, money stuff, life stuff. I'm so busy and worried about looking like I was actually prepared for that next thing that I'm not really living. That doesn't really honor the precious life God bestowed on me.
Because if you haven't noticed, life is happening all around us. And if we aren't careful, we aren't in it. You know, like really in it with our sleeves rolled up. Working side-by-side with our neighbors, laughing, loving, being, sharing, obeying, rescuing, caring, feeling connected. Being vulnerable. Seeking. Finding. Growing.
I don't want a checklist kind of life.
Call me crazy, but I don't want a predictable kind of easy-go-lucky life either. I mean, I am constantly fighting it. Because the flesh part of me wants what the world has to offer. Easy, stuff-filled, wealth-accumulating, checklist-oriented, pretty packaging kind of life. If I honestly admit it, I wouldn't mind the manicured nails and the highlights in my hair and the pampering pedicures. I definitely wouldn't mind extravagant annual family vacations. Anniversary trips to white sandy beaches.
I practically hyperventilate as I reread that last paragraph. Oh. My. Gosh. That is totally the life I had, albeit briefly.
It was terribly unfulfilling. It sucked the life right out of me. So void of real relationships. Real love. Real grace. Real risk. Real joy.
I wouldn't want all this world has to offer if it didn't come without that last list of "reals."
And I know how to get real. I want what Jesus offers. But first I must die to flesh, the worldly desires...and be radical. I have to love big, live big, fight like it's worth it and {gulp!} take RISKS!
Guess what? That's what faith is...it's Jesus-inspired, relationship-driven, fight-worthy, God-led risks. Without the leap of faith, God won't show us how big and merciful and amazing He is. How He delivers us, rescues us, fights for us, shows up for us, loves us.
And I want every bit of that, because I've had some tastes here and there, especially in the last 20 months.
And it. Is. Phenomenal.
Better than the most gorgeous beach, breath-taking mountain scenery, adventures, romance. He is the Creator of all those, after all. Faith can feed you; it's better than any drug or addiction. This is the kind of living I want more and more of! I want my kids to know how to love, to fight, to serve, to obey, to risk it all. Because an all-out radical faith means we reap the rewards that only a relationship with Christ can offer.
Jehovah Nissi. Jehovah Jireh.
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