Three ways to lessen fear

     You know what's really beautiful about fear? Perfect love casts it out. 
     The theme of my blog post this week is about fear. Some days I have none, and other days, I seem so consumed with it that it paralyzes my everyday tasks. 
     If you have fears a lot, or even occasionally, you are in good company. Even some of the most courageous heroes of the Bible had moments of hesitation and chances to overcome great fears, which always strengthened their faith. Fear is really an opportunity to grow closer to God.
     When I struggle with the choking squeeze of something threatening, I look to their stories to be reminded of how I can overcome. 
     Here are three ways to face fear: 
     1. Timing is everything. I love the story of Esther. I especially love how perfectly every detail is spun in time. The fact that she was fasting (and likely praying) before she made her move. Patience is often key when it comes to acting on things. Fear promulgates an irrational sort of impulsiveness. But being impetuous can cause anger, missteps and regrets. Love, on the other hand, is patient. 
     Esther had the courage to petition the king by way of a banquet for him and Haman. The king tells her that he will give her virtually anything she asks for. Yet she simply asks the king and Haman to come to another banquet the following night and then she will ask her question of the king. 
     Why didn't she just ask then? The story doesn't tell us. What a strange thing to do! Did she lose her courage? Or was she simply waiting on God's perfect timing?
     Later that night, when the king is wrestling with sleeplessness, he asks to look at the book of chronicles, a record of his reign. That is when he is reminded of the man, Mordecai, who saved King Xerxes life when he reported overhearing two guards talking about assassinating him. It was then King Xerxes realizes that nothing was done to thank or reward Mordecai. He falls asleep with a deep appreciation of the man he had forgotten to remember and a plan to right that wrong!  
     The next night, Esther reveals Haman's evil plan to destroy all Jews because of his hatred for Mordecai. 
     Can you imagine how this story would have turned out if the king didn't recall who Mordecai was? 
     God is in every detail. He is in the timing, His perfect timing. He is patient and just. 
     We can face our fears by being patient and trusting in God's timing. 
     2. Let your freak flag wave. One of my favorite lines from Shrek the Musical, letting your freak flag wave is another way of saying don't be afraid to be bold and true to yourself. 
     I wonder if Noah had any fears as he was building the ark. Will this thing float? How will the animals get on board? How will they get along? How will my family get along? Will it be done in time? Not to mention the fear of what everyone was thinking and saying about him as he built the ark. 
     The Bible is often vacant of the emotion, leaving the reader to imagine what was going through the minds of God's people. Genesis only tells us what Noah did; it doesn't reveal to us how he felt. But it doesn't take a rocket scientist to imagine that Noah was one freak-flag-waving dude. He was obedient. He trusted God, despite how strange he must have seemed to those around him. 
     One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Genesis 8:11, which inspired a beautiful mosaic that my daughter made last year of the dove carrying an olive branch in its beak. The verse simple says, "When the dove returned to him in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf! Then Noah knew that the water had receded from the earth." 
     First off, that exclamation point is a big clue. The authors in the Bible don't tend to overuse them like the author of this blog does! It was a big, hairy deal that after 40 days of non-stop raining and another 150+ days of flooding and then receding of another 40+ days there was a leaf. 
     Genesis 8:11 doesn't include the word HOPE, but in my mind, it's the theme of this verse. It's the reward for waving the freak flag. God always comes through when we are obedient to Him. The master of the universe knows what He's doing. Trusting Him = overcoming fears. 
     3. Put fear in perspective. The fears we face often seem way bigger from our limited vantage point. 
     Just think of puny David slaying Goliath. Nobody thought it could be done. The Isrealites plotted and they planned, but in the end, they chickened out. And here comes this unlikely hero, saying he will face the giant that had an army cowering like a toddler trembling under the sheets afraid of a monster under the bed.
     Then David rejects the armor and helmet and takes five smooth stones and his slingshot instead. Can you imagine? He, too, was waving a freak flag, folks! Even Goliath mocks David. But in typical limited human mind fashion, David was over prepared for the job. He only needed the one stone, which sank into Goliath's forehead and knocked him to the ground, striking him dead. 
     When I think of those things that cause me to tremble, I have to remember to trust God. He has the timing figured out. He has prepared me uniquely for the job, freaky though I might feel at times, and He has more than equipped me for the task. I'm praying next time I begin to fear, I will trust more and leave the extra four stones behind.  

Three ways to show LOVE

Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

If God is LOVE, I learn from Him how to display love. If I meditate on how He first loved me, I realize so much more about love. 

I mean, really think about it. If you know even a glimmer of the LOVE of God, compare that to wordly love. Love that we see in the movies, read about in books or witness between people in our lives. The love I see around me is often fake, based on material things and impatient. Fictional love in movies and books is uncomplicated, contrived, forceful.

God's LOVE looks so different than that. I realize that even when I was a hot mess, LOVE was patient, kind and gentle. God wasn't demanding or in my face. He also never left me, even when I left Him. He didn't dwell on my past mistakes. He forgave and forgot. He went out of His way to be kind to me, allowing me to understand my identity and be the person He created and even to serve Him in ways that bring joy to me. He even sent His son to die for me. That's sacrificial and complete and mysterious and amazing!

So, if we strive to show LOVE to others, we share with them the LOVE that God gave us personally. Here are three ways based on my personal knowledge of God to shower LOVE on each other: 

1. Be patient. That means we can't expect immediate results from our love of others. We can't throw a fit when we don't get our way in love. Are we even supposed to "get our way" when it comes to love? We need to set down our expectations. We need to put others above ourselves, even when they don't deserve it. Remember, God didn't rush you into a decision to follow Him, and we would be wise not to rush others into .... well, anything at all. Trust God when your intentions seem to be falling flat. 

 2. Be kind. Often when we are called to LOVE someone in Christian ways, it's someone who is hard to love. LOVE them anyway. Go out of your way to show kindness. Find out their love language (there are five: acts of service, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch) and use them to remind them that they are worthy of LOVE. Do this even when they don't deserve it. Do this especially when they are hard to love. That's the LOVE of our Father, who loves us even in our sin, even when we don't deserve His kindness. 

3. Be gentle. Don't remind others constantly of the reasons they are a hot mess. Don't point out their sins, their stumblings, their mistakes especially when they never asked you to play this role in their lives. Simply point them to Jesus, and let Him do the judging. Think about it: Did God reveal your sins to you BEFORE you were in a relationship with Him? Of course He didn't. Don't be the judge and jury for anyone, unless of course they have asked you to help them with their sins. A gentle love encourages and lifts up. It doesn't tear down and hate.

All of these have one thing in common: God. Submit to Him. Submission is not the negative, miserable, forceful thing our world tries to teach us it is. Submitting requires wisdom and grace. It's hard, but it's so worth it. Submission to God puts Him in control. When we trust Him, we are empowered to be the expression of LOVE He wants to reflect of Himself in our world. It's a beautiful thing. 

Finally, read 1 Corinthians 13. But each time you see the word "love," substitute God in its place. This is a little exercise my friend Jan Koch does with the Mighty Strong Girls spa. It's pretty powerful. Get your Bible, and read it aloud. It will remind you of how wonderful, beautiful and amazing the LOVE of God is, and who doesn't need that reminder?