Girls need heroes

     About a year ago, I happened across the Instagram account of a girl on my daughter's softball team. Turns out, she was in her grade at school. If I'm doing my math right, that would have made her 9 or 10, maybe 11, at the time. 
     I was stunned. 
     First, her account was public. Anyone could view her profile and all her posts/photos/comments. 
     Second, everything she posted reeked of desperation to be loved.
     Her professed relationship status (not a mandatory part of your Instagram profile, by the way) was "used to be taken" with lots of sad faces. She had photo after photo of handwritten notes about her unrequited love for a boy in her grade. She took every opportunity to let anyone who would give her attention know that she still yearned for her ex-boyfriend and would take him back in a heartbeat.
     Third, what on earth is a child this young even doing on social media. Ugh! This kind of thing just annoys me! If you give your elementary or middle school age kid a phone and access to the internet (which I think is dangerous and unwise to begin with but if you decide they are responsible enough) police it, hover like a helicopter, comb through everything daily, watch over them like a hawk. They are children. It's your job! Help them discern what and how to post. Protect them from being vulnerable and victimized! 
     Anyway, I talked to my husband about this, as he was assistant coaching the team. He said this girl made him feel uncomfortable in her desperation for his attention, baiting him for remarks about her appearance and constantly needing to be validated that included being on her cell phone texting people if she couldn't get anyone in the dugout to talk to her. She had no sense of boundaries in relationships.
     In that entire season, I never saw a dad. I never heard mention of a dad. Not that she didn't have one. I have no idea. But he was not present. 
     Her story is hardly unique or new. Girls whose dads (or stepdads or grandpas) aren't around or available are naturally desperate for masculine love. Shouldn't this be predictable? 
     Well, we can simply observe, shake our heads and be critical. OR, we can all decide to do something to come alongside these girls. It's not their fault! 
     Of course this girl craves love. We were ALL built to desire love. 
     Why do dads matter? 
     — 21 percent of 12-15-year-olds said their No. 1 concern was not having enough TIME with their parents, while only 8 percent of parents thought they didn't have enough time with their kids. 
     — Girls who live with their mothers only have significantly less ability to control impulses, delay gratification and have a weaker sense of conscience (right or wrong). 
     — When a father is involved in his kids' day-to-day activities, they are more likely to confide in him and seek his emotional support. 
     — Girls with good fathers are less likely to flaunt themselves to seek male attention. 
     Again, these are all statistics gathered for Dr. Meg Meeker's amazing book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know. 
     How can you really live out the role of a strong father? 
     According to Meeker, you can become her hero. In fact, she's naturally chosen you, and she cannot survive without a humble hero who is her rescuer and defender. 
     "She needs a hero to navigate her through a treacherous popular culture. And you should know that being a twenty-first century hero is tough stuff. It means walking into embarrassing, uncomfortable or even life-threatening situations in order to rescue your daughter,"  says Meeker.
     As much as it irritates me that the media and popular culture is responsible for objectifying and sexualizing girls, it angers me that it demasculinizes men and boys. They've made men appear weak, spineless and without purpose.
     It's no wonder our men aren't sure how to be a hero anymore. Culture is robbing them of a key component of their God-ordained identities, just as we are deceiving girls about their value in God's eyes. 
     It's my prayer that events like this weekend's Father-Daughter Gala and others will begin to heal the past hurts that have come between relationships and seal a bond between dads and daughters that is filled with redemption and hope. 
     As Father's Day approaches, I celebrate the awesome dad my husband is for his daughter. He builds her up, joins her in the things that interest her and expresses love for her that encompasses all of who she is. 
     Let's pray for a courageous generation of dads to come to the rescue of ALL girls. We need for men to intervene when girls are young and begin speaking truths into their lives! They don't have to be dads; mentors and father figures like grandpas or uncles can be very effective, too. Godly men, it's time to be courageous; we support and celebrate you! We are fighting this battle together. Let's do it radically and with conviction!