Three ways to show LOVE

Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

If God is LOVE, I learn from Him how to display love. If I meditate on how He first loved me, I realize so much more about love. 

I mean, really think about it. If you know even a glimmer of the LOVE of God, compare that to wordly love. Love that we see in the movies, read about in books or witness between people in our lives. The love I see around me is often fake, based on material things and impatient. Fictional love in movies and books is uncomplicated, contrived, forceful.

God's LOVE looks so different than that. I realize that even when I was a hot mess, LOVE was patient, kind and gentle. God wasn't demanding or in my face. He also never left me, even when I left Him. He didn't dwell on my past mistakes. He forgave and forgot. He went out of His way to be kind to me, allowing me to understand my identity and be the person He created and even to serve Him in ways that bring joy to me. He even sent His son to die for me. That's sacrificial and complete and mysterious and amazing!

So, if we strive to show LOVE to others, we share with them the LOVE that God gave us personally. Here are three ways based on my personal knowledge of God to shower LOVE on each other: 

1. Be patient. That means we can't expect immediate results from our love of others. We can't throw a fit when we don't get our way in love. Are we even supposed to "get our way" when it comes to love? We need to set down our expectations. We need to put others above ourselves, even when they don't deserve it. Remember, God didn't rush you into a decision to follow Him, and we would be wise not to rush others into .... well, anything at all. Trust God when your intentions seem to be falling flat. 

 2. Be kind. Often when we are called to LOVE someone in Christian ways, it's someone who is hard to love. LOVE them anyway. Go out of your way to show kindness. Find out their love language (there are five: acts of service, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch) and use them to remind them that they are worthy of LOVE. Do this even when they don't deserve it. Do this especially when they are hard to love. That's the LOVE of our Father, who loves us even in our sin, even when we don't deserve His kindness. 

3. Be gentle. Don't remind others constantly of the reasons they are a hot mess. Don't point out their sins, their stumblings, their mistakes especially when they never asked you to play this role in their lives. Simply point them to Jesus, and let Him do the judging. Think about it: Did God reveal your sins to you BEFORE you were in a relationship with Him? Of course He didn't. Don't be the judge and jury for anyone, unless of course they have asked you to help them with their sins. A gentle love encourages and lifts up. It doesn't tear down and hate.

All of these have one thing in common: God. Submit to Him. Submission is not the negative, miserable, forceful thing our world tries to teach us it is. Submitting requires wisdom and grace. It's hard, but it's so worth it. Submission to God puts Him in control. When we trust Him, we are empowered to be the expression of LOVE He wants to reflect of Himself in our world. It's a beautiful thing. 

Finally, read 1 Corinthians 13. But each time you see the word "love," substitute God in its place. This is a little exercise my friend Jan Koch does with the Mighty Strong Girls spa. It's pretty powerful. Get your Bible, and read it aloud. It will remind you of how wonderful, beautiful and amazing the LOVE of God is, and who doesn't need that reminder?

Girls need heroes

     About a year ago, I happened across the Instagram account of a girl on my daughter's softball team. Turns out, she was in her grade at school. If I'm doing my math right, that would have made her 9 or 10, maybe 11, at the time. 
     I was stunned. 
     First, her account was public. Anyone could view her profile and all her posts/photos/comments. 
     Second, everything she posted reeked of desperation to be loved.
     Her professed relationship status (not a mandatory part of your Instagram profile, by the way) was "used to be taken" with lots of sad faces. She had photo after photo of handwritten notes about her unrequited love for a boy in her grade. She took every opportunity to let anyone who would give her attention know that she still yearned for her ex-boyfriend and would take him back in a heartbeat.
     Third, what on earth is a child this young even doing on social media. Ugh! This kind of thing just annoys me! If you give your elementary or middle school age kid a phone and access to the internet (which I think is dangerous and unwise to begin with but if you decide they are responsible enough) police it, hover like a helicopter, comb through everything daily, watch over them like a hawk. They are children. It's your job! Help them discern what and how to post. Protect them from being vulnerable and victimized! 
     Anyway, I talked to my husband about this, as he was assistant coaching the team. He said this girl made him feel uncomfortable in her desperation for his attention, baiting him for remarks about her appearance and constantly needing to be validated that included being on her cell phone texting people if she couldn't get anyone in the dugout to talk to her. She had no sense of boundaries in relationships.
     In that entire season, I never saw a dad. I never heard mention of a dad. Not that she didn't have one. I have no idea. But he was not present. 
     Her story is hardly unique or new. Girls whose dads (or stepdads or grandpas) aren't around or available are naturally desperate for masculine love. Shouldn't this be predictable? 
     Well, we can simply observe, shake our heads and be critical. OR, we can all decide to do something to come alongside these girls. It's not their fault! 
     Of course this girl craves love. We were ALL built to desire love. 
     Why do dads matter? 
     — 21 percent of 12-15-year-olds said their No. 1 concern was not having enough TIME with their parents, while only 8 percent of parents thought they didn't have enough time with their kids. 
     — Girls who live with their mothers only have significantly less ability to control impulses, delay gratification and have a weaker sense of conscience (right or wrong). 
     — When a father is involved in his kids' day-to-day activities, they are more likely to confide in him and seek his emotional support. 
     — Girls with good fathers are less likely to flaunt themselves to seek male attention. 
     Again, these are all statistics gathered for Dr. Meg Meeker's amazing book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know. 
     How can you really live out the role of a strong father? 
     According to Meeker, you can become her hero. In fact, she's naturally chosen you, and she cannot survive without a humble hero who is her rescuer and defender. 
     "She needs a hero to navigate her through a treacherous popular culture. And you should know that being a twenty-first century hero is tough stuff. It means walking into embarrassing, uncomfortable or even life-threatening situations in order to rescue your daughter,"  says Meeker.
     As much as it irritates me that the media and popular culture is responsible for objectifying and sexualizing girls, it angers me that it demasculinizes men and boys. They've made men appear weak, spineless and without purpose.
     It's no wonder our men aren't sure how to be a hero anymore. Culture is robbing them of a key component of their God-ordained identities, just as we are deceiving girls about their value in God's eyes. 
     It's my prayer that events like this weekend's Father-Daughter Gala and others will begin to heal the past hurts that have come between relationships and seal a bond between dads and daughters that is filled with redemption and hope. 
     As Father's Day approaches, I celebrate the awesome dad my husband is for his daughter. He builds her up, joins her in the things that interest her and expresses love for her that encompasses all of who she is. 
     Let's pray for a courageous generation of dads to come to the rescue of ALL girls. We need for men to intervene when girls are young and begin speaking truths into their lives! They don't have to be dads; mentors and father figures like grandpas or uncles can be very effective, too. Godly men, it's time to be courageous; we support and celebrate you! We are fighting this battle together. Let's do it radically and with conviction! 

Always ask why, part two

Why has she put on so much weight? 

Why doesn't she come to our meetings anymore? 

Why on earth is she cutting herself? What's wrong with her?

Why does she always seem to cold to me? 

I wrote part one of this post a few months ago, and as I came back to it and reviewed it, it occurred to me something was missing — another, more complicated reason we don't often ask why. Because once one person knows your why, it seems the whole dang world knows. So we believe the lie that we are protecting ourselves from hurt by telling nobody, by holding it all inside.

Have you ever unearthed the why of someone's struggles and then ran as fast as you could in the other direction? Or, ran as fast as you could, telling everyone on the way what you just learned? In other words, have you ever found out someone's story, learned about their messy place and then gossiped about it?

I have. I did this recently. I learned. I was shocked at someone else's why. I told. Then as I heard a friend repeat my gossip to another friend, it was as if a curtain was pulled back. God showed me how damaging it was. To the person who was — at least so far — unaware of what we were saying, to me, to my friend, to our relationships with one another, to God's kingdom.

Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. James 4:11

Do we not tend to justify these two things: Not caring enough to ask others what's going on, what's hurting them, or finding out how to help them AND  misusing this type of information when we know it. 

I'm embarrassed. I am the reason it has become so hard to share the why. 

But I'm so thankful for the amazing friendships in my life right now, because my friend sensed my judgment of her when I called out her gossip. What she didn't know, because in my pride I didn't confess, was the guilt I felt for my own part in the act. Yet she forced me into an uncomfortable situation where we could examine the mess. It was ugly looking in the mirror, I tell you.

The truth is I dream of a place where girls and women can be raw and honest with each other, but to get there, first we have to stop the gossip. It's hurtful, and it makes being honest and loving one another more complicated, if not impossible.

Gossip leads to judgment. Judgment leads to hate. Hate leads to wars. 

  

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live my life in self-righteous hatred or judgement of even one other human being. Will I stumble? Will I occasionally gossip? Will I screw up and hurt people? Yes, because I am only human. I see countless people who complain about Christians judging non-Christians or Muslims hating Christians. We see acts of atrocity committed in the name of every faith, and then use it to justify a hate for that faith. Wake up people, because we all do it. Slap whatever label on it you want, but the reality is that the fault isn't really with the group, the faith or the label.

God's word offers us a glimpse of truth: The human heart is full of evils. His word doesn't classifying the hearts — as in these sects, certain religions, those tribes, certain countries, specific people. His description for this atrocity of the heart is human. All hearts are capable of hatred and evil. 

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9

Because I have screwed up, because I have sinned and because I will continue to make mistakes, I want grace! I want to be loved and forgiven, so I will keep putting myself out there to constantly love and forgive others. In every mess, including my own.

A friend and I were discussing this recently and we wondered: Is there a way we can police one another on gossip with grace? Is there a way to help our sisters in our social circles shut down gossip without it being harmful (like the ax of judgment coming down) on our friendships? 

I want to know, because I crave both things — good healthy friendships and an end to this destructive behavior. 

In the meantime, I will keep asking why. As much as I am able, I will ask not about someone secondhand, but to someone firsthand. In order to love them better. In order to see them the way God sees them. In order to get to the heart of the matter. Because I believe our Heavenly Creator really wants us to care about the why, no matter how messy or complicated or risky it might be.

One of my favorite quotes is this one, and it's where I want to be:

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”

~ Eleanor Roosevelt 

 Will you help me get here? 

G
  my favorite reat minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/e/eleanorroo385439.html#8L9l6EYXo3MD0K2r.99

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/e/eleanorroo385439.html#8L9l6EYXo3MD0K2r.99

Always ask why, part one

Often when we want more information about something, we ask where, when, who and what. Rarely we ask why — the most critical question of all. 

Why is where the story unfolds, the reason someone is motivated to do something or act a certain way. When we ask why, we begin to understand the person behind the event or incident. We begin to relate. 

As a reporter, the why was always my favorite question. It's the mean of the story. It's the good stuff, my dear friends.

Why is where compassion and empathy enter, where hate begins to evaporate. 

There’s this girl I know who latches onto new girls who move into the community, forces her friendship on them, drops other friends (saying cruel things to and about them in the process) and then repeats the cycle when another new girl comes into the picture. 

Anyone examining this from the outside sees the wake of damage and recognizes the unscrupulous and unhealthy behavior of this girl. She appears pathetic and dangerous and most certainly untrustworthy. 

We clearly see what is going on, who is involved, as well as the when and where of her actions. What we don’t readily see or even ask ourselves is why. Do we know? Do we even care?

 

Because more than likely, she has been hurt in the past, probably by someone close to her. Maybe she was neglected time and time again by a parent, who made promises and never delivered. 

Unless we ask why, we will never see the human behind the action that disgusts us. Until we ask why, we can have no sympathy or compassion. Not asking why allows us to transfer disgust from the action to the person, and this is where hate breeds.

If I'm fully honest with myself, I must admit that not asking  why is my way of avoiding the mess. If I don't ask, I don't have to feel obligated to clean it up or even offer her my love while we both look at our own individual messes, unsure of what to do next. 

 

Isn't it true that most of us simply want to turn our back on others rather than even ask this one question? We justify it because it will "protect our heart" or keep us out of a messy situation or prevent us from having to deal with something really real and really complicated. Or, keep us from having to address something of our own that is equally messy that we have cordoned off in our brain so that we don't have to face it. Is it not a fact that when we stop asking why, our relationships are no longer deep and meaningful? 

Some 2,000 years ago, a man named Jesus died. There is little controversy about the what, when and where.  There is some dispute about the who — Son of God, Son of man. But have you ever really, really reflected on why?

If you have never asked yourself before, today is the day. Revel in the why. Ask yourself. Search for answers. Be determined to understand the reason behind the act. Go unearth clues and seek out evidence. 

The why always has been and will always remain the most critical question at the heart of all relationships that matter, the relationships that are worth having.

Musings about Lent

I have always held a certain esteem for people who celebrate Lent. Because fasting and prayer, purification and sanctification are all spiritual disciplines I value. 

I have even wondered why Christians sit idly by while other denominations mark these 40 days leading up to Easter with reverence. This year, I decided I would personally do something for Lent. I discovered an awesome website with a challenge called 40 Acts devised to challenge us to be more Christ-like by serving, giving and worshiping in an attitude of gratitude. Perfect! All are also important in my faith walk. So we signed up as a family with gusto. 

Of course, it fizzled in a few days for the kids when a challenge couldn’t be completed in that day. For me, I started three days late, caught up and then fell behind when I didn’t meet an assigned deadline to call a friend I had not spoken to for some time. I had great intentions, as I often do, and I was disappointed (and truth be told, a little ashamed) that I could not do something so simple. 

Until I attended church on Sunday and in the midst of Bible study on the Passover, the minister/teacher reminded us to be careful when it comes to Lent — a religious institutional tradition that — if we let it, can overshadow the very intent of Easter. 

The Bible tells us that when we accept Christ, we are cleansed, set apart and made pure in God’s sight, due to the shed blood of Jesus. (Hebrews 9:11-14, 22; 13:12) No amount of fasting, abstaining from life’s pleasures or any self-denial will buy this grace. 

I realize I might not be the most popular person to criticize a ritual beloved by so many. But the Bible never mentions Lent. It does mention fasting, prayer and of course, the Passover. 

So, how do we prepare for Easter? Can we prepare for Easter? Should we prepare for Easter? 

I believe God wants just one thing from us: a relationship. There’s only one way to get it. Meet Him in prayer and in Bible reading. Focus on what makes all relationships better: time spent together, submission, service, love and acts of faith. 

It is very hard for me to do this and also admit it, but I am dropping the 40 Acts. Not because they were inherently bad or wrong, but because I was beating myself up over getting them done. God doesn’t intend for us to live in misery, guilt and shame. He delivered us from that with the greatest act of love — sending Jesus to suffer death on our behalf. 

Also, this very commitment had me putting myself front and center. It was about me — what I could do, how good I was, how many acts I could check off MY list. I must admit that I wasn’t exactly thinking about God a whole lot. 

Can I improve my relationship with God by fasting, abstaining or doing 40 Acts? Of course I can! God can use anything...and I mean, ANYTHING!

But after hearing this message on Sunday, it occurred to me that what I want most is to let God flow in and through me. It doesn’t require a formula. It won’t necessarily be accompanied by a checklist. An honest examination showed me that 40 Acts was not improving my relationship with Him.

Instead, I decided I will focus on reading His word and meditating on the Passover and its significance, as well as on the days leading up to Jesus’ death. These simple, humble acts are sufficient for God, which is comforting in itself. Plus, I know for a fact that God will meet me there!

Sexy Superbowl Sunday

All men are big, fierce, unafraid, cocky, athletic and think about sexy, half-naked women whose bodies are the only thing they are interested in. 

This is the predominant message your children might receive if they tune in with the other 108 million people watching the Superbowl on Sunday. 

It's the biggest sporting event of the year and close to the most televised event of the year. 

THE MESSAGES ARE CLEAR, LOUD AND STRONG. 

I have to be honest, I haven't thought much about football this year.  I'm not entirely sure I can tell you who is playing this weekend — a fact that would truly embarrass my son, so please don't tell him I admitted in my blog!

I do, however, LOVE watching my own son playing the game and cheering on his team. I really, really do. I also sincerely like the game. The exception being how it seems to perpetuate these ridiculous societal expectations about gender identity that I often find myself "undoing" later with my children.

The truth is I'm usually too tired or busy to watch more than a couple high school and professional games in any given year. Usually, I'm listening to professional games while I'm doing something else — like designing the Mighty Strong Girls magazine or working on a craft with my daughter. It's not that I don't enjoy football; it's more like it just falls to the bottom of my priorities. 

This Sunday, I WILL be tuning in to watch the Superbowl — along with tens of millions of other people. And I know for a fact, we will see perhaps countless examples of masculine stereotypes threatening to teach my son what it means to be a man. The ads will make this "tough guy" persona look like a valuable trait. (Insert mom groan here.)  There will be almost as many feminine stereotypes paraded in front of the camera by cheerleaders and fans and even advertisers.  Our daughters and beloved sisters will be "on sale" this weekend, showing us all what it looks like when a woman's value is the outside package and teaching our sons that a girl's sexuality makes her a "good catch."

Maybe I'm crazy....some are nodding in agreement right now, but it seems like these stereotypes are more pervasive than ever these days in the media. Perhaps that's because we live in an era that more than ever has an "anything goes" media mentality.

My favorite player loves all sports, the color pink, praying,
watching and participating in theater, reading and shopping.
Sometimes he paints his nails, and he loves babies and
younger kids.

We stumbled upon some free Rams exhibition game tickets in late summer while visiting St. Louis Magic House for my son's birthday. So we started the football season excitedly celebrating his ninth birthday watching a ridiculous show of machismo unraveling before our bewildered eyes, much of it scripted on videos of the players and others spontaneous from the field and the fans. On the flip side, the cheerleader video was like a PSA glamorizing eating disorders and objectification. My husband and I tried our best to avoid undue attention to this highly sexual spectacle unfolding on jumbotrons in front of the four boys with us, but couldn't help but turn to each other with jaws dropped afterward. We promised later we wouldn't return to a pro football event with our son. 

THE MESSAGES WERE CLEAR, LOUD AND STRONG. 

But here's the truth: There are other messages. More than ever, there are more messages about Jesus. More messages about how we should love ALL people, even and especially people who are different than we are. These messages aren't always as loud or strong, but they are there.  Praise the Lord for that!

Here's some more good news. They start in the home. Parents are still the biggest influence on their children. If you aren't talking to your children about gender stereotypes and their inherent danger, please start! Children NEED to know from you that there isn't a darn thing wrong with the way God made them. He is the master Creator and His plan will prevail. Of course, the coolest part is that when we enter into a relationship with Him through Jesus, we can begin to see why He made us the way He did, and how we can use our unique gifts to serve Him and find true happiness. It's a beautiful thing when we can drop the assumptions about how a girl should be and how a boy should be and just BE. Just be the person who God created, and then encourage others to do the same! 

Here's some more good news. You can use the Superbowl to start a conversation or dissect the messages in the advertisements, which helps break down stereotypes and gets to the heart of what drives them: Money. 

I admit I watched the Budweiser commercial that's already viral with the puppy and the horses. It's touching, and it will clearly tug at the heartstrings of both girls and boys. It's refreshing to see this type of story unfold. 

But don't forget, no matter how awesome the story, that is still a paid message by a company that is SELLING YOU SOMETHING.

No matter what you are watching or viewing in any media (television, movies, online ads, magazines, etc.), ask yourself some questions: 

1. Who paid for this message? 
2. What are they saying? 
3. What are they selling? 
4. Does this information tell me anything about their product? 
5. Can I make a decision based on this information? 
6. What other information do I need? 
7. Where can I get more information? Are they willing to share more information about the actual product they are selling?
8. Does this company care more about making the best possible product or making me buy their product at all costs? 

Enjoy your food. Enjoy your football. Enjoy your family. 

xoxoxo,
Amy

P.S. I know the Rams aren't in the Superbowl this year. Right???

Feeling empty; Lacking love

Do you ever feel empty? 


Oh, that's just me? 


Well, I (somewhat begrudgingly) admit it: Sometimes I feel empty -- an emptiness that can't be explained. The world tells us this isn't OK. I mean, look at all the STUFF at our disposal to fill up our "emptiness." Big homes. Fast, shiny, big, beautiful bright cars. RVs. Boats. Four wheelers. Swimming pools. Fashion. Furniture. Art. Gadgets upon gadgets. Social media. Pinterest. 


Why on earth would anyone feel empty?


And yet, I do. Perhaps that's where I've gone wrong. Maybe, just maybe that's why I feel so buried, so insecure. Could it be that I've been reaching for STUFF, instead of to the ONE who can fill me up? 


Yesterday, in the depths of despair I cried out to God. Then felt slighted when he didn't show up with an answer. "I have faith," I insisted, in anger. "And I know you'll answer my prayers. Please show up here!"


Nothing.


I was left alone, I felt, with only the rambling thoughts of emptiness inside. Chief among those scattered thoughts were worries. A broken car. No job/income. Medical bills. And this unceasing desire to do more -- sponsor an orphan, feed hungry children, end the injustices I've seen firsthand in developing countries -- all the while being unable to care for my own family.


I speak as if I have faith, and I believe I do. I have left it in his hands, and I KNOW he will provide. And I know things take time, and I know he's growing me in this season of life. I do trust him!


Yet, in the midst of this, I look at what everyone else has, and I'm jealous. A jealousy that makes me angry. "I just want to pay my bills and help needy children...why can't I have more resources, God, when I want to use them to honor and glorify you?"


Is it any coincidence that I'm currently reading a book entitled "The God Who Sees You: Look to Him When You Feel Discouraged?"


I'm not sure why it continually amazes me that he meets me where I am. 


That emptiness, could it be a longing? A longing to be affirmed, valued, loved, appreciated, assured, connected, desired, celebrated, cared for and included as the author has suggested? 


Could it be that this is EXACTLY how God designed us? So that we would fill this emptiness, not with things of the world, but with him. Things, stuff and even people are unreliable. God is not. 


He may not always give us exactly what we want or ask for, but he's there. Always. And he knows our pain. He's experienced it firsthand. He chose to come to us as man, as Jesus, who endured it all -- physical pain, emotional pain, suffering, temptations, hunger, exhaustion, mocking, death. 


So it was reassuring to me as I read last night this passage in the book: 


"The real difficulty is that the unseen God is also hard to understand. His actions often don't make sense to us, and He doesn't look at things at all the way we do...


"To our limited understand, God's ways are mysterious and often counterintuitive. There are even times when, for reasons we can't fathom, God hides himself completely from us. When that happens, it's so easy for us to get wrong ideas about him. We get all mixed up about what we can see and what we can't see. And that's when we may fall into the trap of wanting to tell God what to do."


Wow. 'Cause that's exactly where I was yesterday. Telling God what to do, in the midst of my anger and confusion. 


Yes, I have faith. But I was reminded from 1 Corinthians 13:2 "...and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing."

Do I have love? Yes, I would answer. 


But then as I examine the rest of the passage, it makes me wonder, is my love: 


Patient? ...never grumbling about life's circumstances but trusting my needs will be met? 


Kind?  ...putting others above myself, not just occasionally but all the time? 


Free of envy and boastfulness? ...satisfied with what I have, who I am and where I'm at in life? ...free of bragging and boasting? 


A love that is not not self-seeking? ...who is it I want to please? 


Not easily angered? ...am I quick-tempered? Do I lash out at others? Blame others for my problems? 


Free of records of wrongs? ...do I forgive, let go and let God? Always? 


One that rejoices in the truth? ...do I live my life like God is all I need? 


Protecting? ...do I seek to protect my heart and my children's hearts from the evils of the world? 


Always trusting, hoping and persevering? ...do I question the authority of love? Do I lose hope, give up? 


I know I have faith and hope, but I still feel something is missing. After examining this scripture, it's clear I'm lacking in love. It's no wonder I feel empty! 


This is a long list. And honestly exploring the TRUTHFULNESS of love is an ongoing exercise. For me, it will require making choices daily -- sometimes hourly -- to live a life that's driven by love. 


It will be hard. It goes against what we're taught by the world. It's a lifestyle that's not revered, and it sometimes requires us to admit we've messed up. But yesterday was a reminder for me that doubt = darkness, and I want to live in the light. The light fills me up ...with God, with faith, with hope and with love. He is all I need!