She agreed to let me share what she had to say:
Why am I so nervous to post this…
I have a laziness problem and I know it.
Let me start by stating what I want.
My objective is…to be healthier in every way. I want to get into shape by becoming more active, eating less and more healthy, and to stop pretending that I can change tomorrow when I need to change immediately. I have plenty of family history to prove that I’ll end up with diabetes (or something worse) much sooner than I realize and I have to stop kidding myself that I can do it alone. How would I really like to tackle this? I’d be able to afford a fat farm and disappear for 3-6 months only to emerge as I should be and no one would have to tell me I look great or ask me how I’m doing along the way. I know that’s not how it works, but I have this weird problem with being complemented when I don’t think I should be. I put myself in this situation, and I don’t want anyone asking me if I’ve lost weight. I want to get healthy in my own little bubble and just go about business without having any focus placed on me. That being said…
This is a way for me to admit to myself that I have to stop pretending I can motivate myself on my own and that things are not going to change by ignoring the situation. I’m not stupid. I know what and how I’m supposed to get in shape, but I have a serious motivation problem and I need help. I’ve started all kinds of diets and workouts, and I’ve tried relying on people to provide accountability before but something always happens and I (and those trying to motivate me) give up. Please spare me the lecture about how this decision has to come solely from me (or don’t), but I when I was active I was being coached and yelled at all along the way and rarely did anything just because I wanted to do it. Cross-country, track, basketball, volleyball, cheerleading…about the only thing I actually tried to work on outside of actual practice was choir and that didn’t require me to put down the cheeseburger.
So, I figured I would crowd-source my accountability. Maybe if I opened up about my problems to Facebook, then I could find a number of people that would be willing to remind me not to be lazy on a daily basis. I need a coach, and I can’t afford a live-in trainer. I even considered posting BEFORE pictures and listing my statistics in this post, but I’m WAY too scared to do it because it’s bad. I mean, REAL BAD. I’m glad I missed my 15 year high school reunion and I’m scared to go to my husband’s 20 year reunion in 2 weeks because all I can think about is his classmates going, “Why is he with HER?” Anyways, I’ll end with this. This is not an attempt to fat-shame myself into losing weight. If you’re happy with yourself, then more power to you. I am not happy and therefore, need to change. Who wants to help?
Eek! I'm so nervous to hit the post button.
I have a laziness problem and I know it.
Let me start by stating what I want.
My objective is…to be healthier in every way. I want to get into shape by becoming more active, eating less and more healthy, and to stop pretending that I can change tomorrow when I need to change immediately. I have plenty of family history to prove that I’ll end up with diabetes (or something worse) much sooner than I realize and I have to stop kidding myself that I can do it alone. How would I really like to tackle this? I’d be able to afford a fat farm and disappear for 3-6 months only to emerge as I should be and no one would have to tell me I look great or ask me how I’m doing along the way. I know that’s not how it works, but I have this weird problem with being complemented when I don’t think I should be. I put myself in this situation, and I don’t want anyone asking me if I’ve lost weight. I want to get healthy in my own little bubble and just go about business without having any focus placed on me. That being said…
This is a way for me to admit to myself that I have to stop pretending I can motivate myself on my own and that things are not going to change by ignoring the situation. I’m not stupid. I know what and how I’m supposed to get in shape, but I have a serious motivation problem and I need help. I’ve started all kinds of diets and workouts, and I’ve tried relying on people to provide accountability before but something always happens and I (and those trying to motivate me) give up. Please spare me the lecture about how this decision has to come solely from me (or don’t), but I when I was active I was being coached and yelled at all along the way and rarely did anything just because I wanted to do it. Cross-country, track, basketball, volleyball, cheerleading…about the only thing I actually tried to work on outside of actual practice was choir and that didn’t require me to put down the cheeseburger.
So, I figured I would crowd-source my accountability. Maybe if I opened up about my problems to Facebook, then I could find a number of people that would be willing to remind me not to be lazy on a daily basis. I need a coach, and I can’t afford a live-in trainer. I even considered posting BEFORE pictures and listing my statistics in this post, but I’m WAY too scared to do it because it’s bad. I mean, REAL BAD. I’m glad I missed my 15 year high school reunion and I’m scared to go to my husband’s 20 year reunion in 2 weeks because all I can think about is his classmates going, “Why is he with HER?” Anyways, I’ll end with this. This is not an attempt to fat-shame myself into losing weight. If you’re happy with yourself, then more power to you. I am not happy and therefore, need to change. Who wants to help?
Eek! I'm so nervous to hit the post button.
I so resonate with Anne's words! I don't talk about it, because
1. I hate the weight but worse, I hate how the extra weight makes me feel. I FEEL unhealthy. I don't have the energy to do the things I need to do. Migraines keep me in bed three days a month. That's ridiculous! Life is to dang short! Body aches and pains, sinus issues, etc., etc.
2. My husband says I'm hot like every day. I think he really means it. And I'm jealous that he is able to love me when I think I'm unlovable. I KNOW to do anything successfully I need to love myself first. Without that, it's not going to work. And yet, telling an overweight woman to be happy when she's clearly not is like picking up Legos while my kids are in the middle of building a replica of Hogwarts.
3. We live in a world that values perfection. It's hard enough to live with a problem that shows itself every time you put on a bathing suit, or a pair of jeans, or heck, even a parka, but then when you stumble, it's harder to pick yourself up and get back in the game.
1. I hate the weight but worse, I hate how the extra weight makes me feel. I FEEL unhealthy. I don't have the energy to do the things I need to do. Migraines keep me in bed three days a month. That's ridiculous! Life is to dang short! Body aches and pains, sinus issues, etc., etc.
2. My husband says I'm hot like every day. I think he really means it. And I'm jealous that he is able to love me when I think I'm unlovable. I KNOW to do anything successfully I need to love myself first. Without that, it's not going to work. And yet, telling an overweight woman to be happy when she's clearly not is like picking up Legos while my kids are in the middle of building a replica of Hogwarts.
3. We live in a world that values perfection. It's hard enough to live with a problem that shows itself every time you put on a bathing suit, or a pair of jeans, or heck, even a parka, but then when you stumble, it's harder to pick yourself up and get back in the game.
But I'm going to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Anne and anyone else who wants to join us. I'm going to be real, like really real. So it could get ugly. It will probably be scary. It might be sad. It most definitely could get hilarious. I hope. Won't you please join us, recruit more and come be part of a new thing -- women helping women, women helping their daughters or their mothers to be overcomers!
I don't just want to tackle the weighty issue of size but really the whole issue of who I am that encompasses how I feel, think, operate, move and more. Here it is again...it's the whole health thing, the holistic journey. I'm ready! Let's go!
I don't just want to tackle the weighty issue of size but really the whole issue of who I am that encompasses how I feel, think, operate, move and more. Here it is again...it's the whole health thing, the holistic journey. I'm ready! Let's go!
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