Sexy Superbowl Sunday

All men are big, fierce, unafraid, cocky, athletic and think about sexy, half-naked women whose bodies are the only thing they are interested in. 

This is the predominant message your children might receive if they tune in with the other 108 million people watching the Superbowl on Sunday. 

It's the biggest sporting event of the year and close to the most televised event of the year. 

THE MESSAGES ARE CLEAR, LOUD AND STRONG. 

I have to be honest, I haven't thought much about football this year.  I'm not entirely sure I can tell you who is playing this weekend — a fact that would truly embarrass my son, so please don't tell him I admitted in my blog!

I do, however, LOVE watching my own son playing the game and cheering on his team. I really, really do. I also sincerely like the game. The exception being how it seems to perpetuate these ridiculous societal expectations about gender identity that I often find myself "undoing" later with my children.

The truth is I'm usually too tired or busy to watch more than a couple high school and professional games in any given year. Usually, I'm listening to professional games while I'm doing something else — like designing the Mighty Strong Girls magazine or working on a craft with my daughter. It's not that I don't enjoy football; it's more like it just falls to the bottom of my priorities. 

This Sunday, I WILL be tuning in to watch the Superbowl — along with tens of millions of other people. And I know for a fact, we will see perhaps countless examples of masculine stereotypes threatening to teach my son what it means to be a man. The ads will make this "tough guy" persona look like a valuable trait. (Insert mom groan here.)  There will be almost as many feminine stereotypes paraded in front of the camera by cheerleaders and fans and even advertisers.  Our daughters and beloved sisters will be "on sale" this weekend, showing us all what it looks like when a woman's value is the outside package and teaching our sons that a girl's sexuality makes her a "good catch."

Maybe I'm crazy....some are nodding in agreement right now, but it seems like these stereotypes are more pervasive than ever these days in the media. Perhaps that's because we live in an era that more than ever has an "anything goes" media mentality.

My favorite player loves all sports, the color pink, praying,
watching and participating in theater, reading and shopping.
Sometimes he paints his nails, and he loves babies and
younger kids.

We stumbled upon some free Rams exhibition game tickets in late summer while visiting St. Louis Magic House for my son's birthday. So we started the football season excitedly celebrating his ninth birthday watching a ridiculous show of machismo unraveling before our bewildered eyes, much of it scripted on videos of the players and others spontaneous from the field and the fans. On the flip side, the cheerleader video was like a PSA glamorizing eating disorders and objectification. My husband and I tried our best to avoid undue attention to this highly sexual spectacle unfolding on jumbotrons in front of the four boys with us, but couldn't help but turn to each other with jaws dropped afterward. We promised later we wouldn't return to a pro football event with our son. 

THE MESSAGES WERE CLEAR, LOUD AND STRONG. 

But here's the truth: There are other messages. More than ever, there are more messages about Jesus. More messages about how we should love ALL people, even and especially people who are different than we are. These messages aren't always as loud or strong, but they are there.  Praise the Lord for that!

Here's some more good news. They start in the home. Parents are still the biggest influence on their children. If you aren't talking to your children about gender stereotypes and their inherent danger, please start! Children NEED to know from you that there isn't a darn thing wrong with the way God made them. He is the master Creator and His plan will prevail. Of course, the coolest part is that when we enter into a relationship with Him through Jesus, we can begin to see why He made us the way He did, and how we can use our unique gifts to serve Him and find true happiness. It's a beautiful thing when we can drop the assumptions about how a girl should be and how a boy should be and just BE. Just be the person who God created, and then encourage others to do the same! 

Here's some more good news. You can use the Superbowl to start a conversation or dissect the messages in the advertisements, which helps break down stereotypes and gets to the heart of what drives them: Money. 

I admit I watched the Budweiser commercial that's already viral with the puppy and the horses. It's touching, and it will clearly tug at the heartstrings of both girls and boys. It's refreshing to see this type of story unfold. 

But don't forget, no matter how awesome the story, that is still a paid message by a company that is SELLING YOU SOMETHING.

No matter what you are watching or viewing in any media (television, movies, online ads, magazines, etc.), ask yourself some questions: 

1. Who paid for this message? 
2. What are they saying? 
3. What are they selling? 
4. Does this information tell me anything about their product? 
5. Can I make a decision based on this information? 
6. What other information do I need? 
7. Where can I get more information? Are they willing to share more information about the actual product they are selling?
8. Does this company care more about making the best possible product or making me buy their product at all costs? 

Enjoy your food. Enjoy your football. Enjoy your family. 

xoxoxo,
Amy

P.S. I know the Rams aren't in the Superbowl this year. Right???

All we really need is God...just God

     Have you ever had a time in your life when God revealed how much He loves you in a way that really only He can? And you know without a doubt that He cares for your every desire? 
     Recently, He did that for me. When my husband asked what I wanted for my 40th birthday, I said, "It's going to sound strange, but what I really want is a quiet weekend of just me to pray and write and revel in what God has done for me." This in itself is a huge deal, as two years ago I got this accidentally and didn't want it — until I realized how much I NEEDED it! 
     Anyway, I knew even saying it that I shouldn't because we don't have the budget for it. And I just had plenty of quiet time in Sierra Leone. But I still have a lot I need to digest and write from that trip, and  a quiet weekend was exactly what I was craving. 
     God also knows we need an inexpensive but nice place to hold a retreat for our editorial board of teen girls. But money was again a big barrier. 
     Then, He did what only He can do and answered two prayers in one. 
     My girlfriend Jan was calling around to places to see what a retreat would cost when she called one that said they had been praying about partnering with a faith-based organization for girls. Her call was literally an answer to their prayers, as much as they were an answer to ours.
     They extended an invitation for us to go stay (FOR FREE) to share our vision, visit their retreat center and pray with them. 
     Get this? The invitation was for this weekend....two days after my 40th birthday. 
     And if we liked it, they wanted to cut the cost in half for our girls retreat. 
     Our God is so good! 
     The weekend didn't go as planned, but it seemed to mirror life. Things don't always go the way we attempt to construct them, but when we hand over the steering wheel to God, His grace is sufficient. 
     We didn't get to pray as much as we wanted. We got lost on the way there, and then wandered for more than three hours on Saturday. I got a migraine and was incapacitated for several hours that night, derailing our plans, and then Jan had to take care of me. Talk about humbling. Then I had some insomnia Saturday night and woke up in a total fog on Sunday from the migraine and medication. 
     We left, and I was definitely feeling frustrated. Plus guilty for feeling like I didn't get my "gift" of rest and relaxation and writing. We didn't pray as much as I had hoped. It seemed, as I reflected, like the weekend was a flop. 
     Sitting at Starbucks, I started sharing this with Jan. More than anything, I was surprised to realize how much I missed my children and husband — despite homeschooling this year and probably really, really needing a break. I was craving their presence. 
     It was there at Starbucks we started having a break through. We laid down our expectations, allowed each other freedom to be real, and then (and only then) did God begin to reveal some things to us. 
     He was speaking to both of us about the same ideas and scriptures that morning before we talked. And so we left Starbucks in a state of prayer, praying all the way from Charleston to Decatur. 
    It occurred to me that like I wanted my children — simply their presence and nothing else — was what God wanted from me. He didn't want an outline for the weekend or an agenda or an expectation. He just wanted me. Wholly, honestly and authentically. And that is where He met me, when I finally had the nerve to be honest and lay down expectations, plans and insecurities. 
     If I learned nothing else, it was that I NEED to start every day laying it all down, being honest with God and choosing to believe. I must believe He is who He says He is and that He wants a relationship with me that is real and personal. I must make the choice every day, sometimes every hour, to have faith. So my daily morning prayer in 2014 will simply be this: 
     Lord, Help me with my unbelief. I invite you to be in my life right now and walk beside me without any expectations but just a relationship.  
     If this prayer is what I got out of the weekend, it was such a gift. But as I unravel His message on Sunday to Jan and to me, I believe His gift was so much more. And soon, we'll get to share it at retreats and conferences and multiple God's love for us. On top of it all, what we thought would take a weekend to accomplish God did over a cup of coffee and a prayer on the way home. He is sufficient, and He is just that amazing!

    

Thowback Thursday: Jer. 7:3

This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: Reform your ways and your actions, and I will let you live in this place.

~ Jeremiah 7:3 (NIV) 

Casting aside condemnation

      I found myself on Mark, chapter 2 this morning where Jesus is doing  pretty awesome things like eating with sinners and healing a man who came down through the roof on a mat. I love this second story, because the man's friends cut a physical hole in the roof of the home to lower him inside in the hopes that Jesus would lay His healing hands upon him. 
     Can you imagine if this happened today? In America? I don't think I have many friends who would be happy if someone cut a hole in their fancy American homes during the middle of a prayer meeting in the hopes that their friend might have healing. I'm afraid of what I might say if this happened to me (Jesus, please don't test me!) 
     Yet, this might be exactly what's wrong with our country. We've begun to idolize our possessions over our friendships. 
     Jesus beautifully shows us something different. A picture of love: Value of a man and that man's faith in Him. He praised the paralyzed man for His great faith, and forgave him of his sins. The greatest gift of all — even better than walking. Yet, he healed the man, too. 
     Jesus wants healing for us. But mostly, He just wants us. He wants us to come to Him for healing from the inside out. In this very chapter, He illustrates that He sees right inside our hearts (verse 8). None of our thoughts are hidden from Him — not one! And yet, he gently rebukes the Pharisees and tells them "I want you to know." Not a demand. Not an authoritative statement but a gentle cue about who He is. An invitation to get to know Him. Because He already knows us (good, bad and ugly) and loves us immensely.
    But the Pharisees just don't get it. They continue throughout the chapter following Jesus around and criticizing and condemning His every law-breaking move. 
     What a wake-up call this chapter is in my life today! Here is Jesus breaking the very rules established by the church and some by God. Not to be a rebel. But because doing so allowed Him to put people and relationships first. 
     That sounds like the work of a loving God! Caring less about Himself and how He looked to the religious leaders of the day, discarding His public image. Simply so He could love more. 
     You see, this is Jesus. He came to eat with sinners. We know who sinners are. The Bible is clear: We have all sinned. We all fall short of receiving a relationship with God. But we can be with God when we accept Him through Jesus, the "way," the truth and the light. 
     That means we must eat with sinners and break church rules. It means we face judgement and condemnation from religious leaders. This isn't a denominational issue, my friends. Jesus doesn't care. Sorry if that offends you (and maybe you can ask God why it does), but he broke the church laws of His day. And I think He wants to break down the laws of our day. 
     Not to be a rebel. But to love people. He wants all of us to love like He did. He sees beyond the hole in the roof. He sees beyond the silence of the Pharisees and into their hearts. He sees it all. So the One who understand our motives wants us to understand His. Put people first. Love God and love others. It's really that simple. 

My new venture/job

I first learned of Trades of Hope in late 2013 and was hesitant to be involved because I do not like "selling." But the Holy Spirit was nudging me, and truly this organization was like finding a piece of a puzzle that had been missing for some time.

A journalist/writer/photographer by trade, God called me to walk away from a lucrative public relations career in early 2012 to stay home with my family. He sent me to Sierra Leone (Africa) to serve missionary friends who needed stories and photos for their website and marketing. My time there was a blessing as these friends are gifted in helping people use their spiritual gifts and seek God's call on how to use them to serve Him. So I came home and waited to see what God would have me do. In June 2012, He called me to start a counter-culture magazine and ministry for preteen/teen girls. It would help girls see true beauty, their value and identity in Christ, their power as a sisterhood of encouragers and world changers. And it exposes and educates them to global issues like HIV, poverty and trafficking. Part of the original vision of Mighty Strong Girls was to help women use trades in their cultures to escape the risks they face, but I didn't know exactly what that might look like.

The ministry off the ground, God then called my family to adopt. And when I discovered Trades of Hope, I fell in love with the stories behind the beautiful, handmade items. I knew this would be one way to raise money for our adoption. When I returned from a second visit to Sierra Leone in January 2014, I discovered the income I was expecting this spring wasn't going to come through: The class I was schedule to teach was cancelled. But I wasn't without hope since God had just called me to sign up for Trades of Hope!

How awesome is God to connect all the dots and allow me to be part of something to continue sharing the stories of girls? Not only giving them hope, but allowing me to have hope through His plan for my life.

Now you are here and you are part of that plan, too. By supporting my Trades of Hope store, you are lifting up my family and allowing women around the world to see their dreams of a better life fulfilled.

With sincere gratitude for your support,
Amy

Joy

     One of the awesome-est things ever Mighty Strong Girls is doing lately is a "God Spa," where we give girls and women a chance to reflect on what they see when they look at themselves in the mirror. At the end of this 45-50-minute exercise, they randomly receive a new name. The prayer is that the Holy Spirit allows them to be matched with a name that will help them overcome a particular challenge they may be experiencing, to know their value in Christ or to begin to know Christ. 
     I don't want to share too many more details about it, because it is a truly amazing, pampering, lovely experience that my dear friend Jan Koch came up with in prayer. Anyway, she did this God Spa for a few Mighty Strong Girls board members in October and we've used it at four events (including two in Africa!) since. 
     My new name was JOY. 
     Those who are closest to me know that the last two years of my life have been a spiritual struggle. Lots of highs and lows, but more than anything, breaking myself of the things of this world and living fully in God's plan and will. 
     From Dan's illness and the trip to Sierra Leone and from the stories of teen girls to the meanness my family experienced in a persecution situation, I've shed my share of tears. In fact, just before this God Spa I had spent weeks locking myself inside my house crying often over very mean spirited people in my community mailing, emailing, calling and saying horrible things. People I've known since moving to my little town seven years ago. People who have known my husband their whole lives. Christian people. People who I have witnessed living out their faith in love. Suddenly, they hated my husband — expressions of emotions that poured over onto our entire family. The pain inflicted was deep, sometimes public and always un-Christian and malicious. It was hard to hide tears from my children I had just begun homeschooling. 
     Just as God used the sadness of Africa to turn my heart toward Him and His purposes and just as He had used the sadness of teenage angst to clearly understand His plan for me and Mighty Strong Girls, I KNEW that God loved me during this persecution. My walk with Him was never so close and personal and fulfilling. While I may not understand how or why God-fearing people would do the things they did, I believe in His plan and His ways. In fact, I am already beginning to see God's people — all of them and especially the brokenhearted and the pride-filled — in all new ways. We are a hurting, injured sinners. Each of us couldn't possibly understand someone else's entire story, which is why we are called to simply love our neighbors as we love ourselves.
     I just returned late last night from my second trip to Africa, and it was the most amazing, fruitful mission trip I've been on. I relinquished control and relied on the Holy Spirit alone. In six days, I listened. I heard their stories. The women, the teen girls, the orphans. There were tears spilled to be sure. And yet, I was joy. I poured it out. I felt it. I lived it. Without even trying. What would have broken my heart even a few months ago filled my heart. These girls and women were so inspiring, and instead of seeing their stories as sorrow or shame, I saw them as hope-filled. They know the Lord. They want better for their daughters. They want to change the world. They pray. They love. They persevere in conditions and circumstances I cannot imagine, just as I do in ways they couldn't fathom. 

Me with some of the women who shared their stories on our trip to Sierra Leone.

     Yet we aren't so different really, despite the miles and ocean that separates us. 
     So when they smile through tears and share the love of Christ. When they are the feet and hands of Jesus. When they are persecuted daily. And when they continue to smile while hurting and let their inner beauty radiate from deep places, they fill me with joy. 
     I'm home. I'm happy. I have hope I never knew was possible. The girl story, it's not so sad. It just depends on your vantage point. I simply choose to view life and love from a new point of view.
     What a wonderful way to start 2014. A calendar turns to a new year, a blank page, a fresh start. For me, a new perspective. Joy — no matter what. It's my new name.

     What's your name or word for the new year and your story behind it? Let me know by commenting!