It was a stark reminder. My cell phone is a deadly trap. When it's in my hand, I become addicted. Checking emails, looking at Facebook, seeing if anyone called the house to schedule a photo shoot. Using all of my six text messages I'm allowed daily. And I forget. I forget about what is. Right. In. Front. Of. Me. Well, not WHAT necessarily but WHO.
I say this to remind myself that I'm not perfect. Some days I am on my phone a lot. But thank the good Lord I am absent-minded because I often lose track of it. My phone seems to go missing all-too often, sinking to the dark abyss at the bottom of my purse, lost between couch cushions or trapped under a pile of dirty dishes on the kitchen counter. And this, my friends, is a BLESSING. Because then I can focus on what I should be focusing on. Losing my cell phone frequently is really the best thing that happens to me every week. It's a gift from God, I think!
Then I am captive to -- the Bible sitting on my bedside table, a friend I have a cherished lunch date with, a game of catch with my son, a deep conversation with my daughter and a much-needed face-to-face conversation with my husband.
And I don't know about you, but I prefer in all the above situations if the person on the other end doesn't have a death grip on their cell phone while we're interacting. I feel more loved. I feel like the other person WANTS to be there, to hear me, to give me all of their attention at that moment like I'm the MOST important thing going on just then. I don't want to take a backseat to my loved one's electronic device, so why would I ever make my kids feel that way? My beloved husband? Why would I ever sprawl out with my Bible in one hand and my phone in the other, lest I miss a text. And then also miss what God wants me to know at this very moment that could -- yes, change the course of my life.
Really? Do we have to ask what is more important? We all already know! And so WHY? WHY do we become enslaved to our phones?
Wake up moms and dads!! We are raising up the next generation, and what message does it send to them if they sink below our almighty phone on the hierarchy of what's important to us in this short life we're given? It's not a single act, your responding to a text during basketball game with your kids; it's your mindset that anytime, anywhere you hear the ding of your phone -- a text, email, call, Facebook post -- it takes priority. It's not just a couple seconds; it's the message behind it. Repeated. Over. And. Over. In front of your kids. Your spouse. Your friends. Your boss. You, my dear, have an obsession really. Not for them but for an inanimate object that has taken priority over all.
We've all done it a time or two. Some can't seem to stop. But it seems impolite to talk about this problem to adults and especially to teenagers, a generation we've churned out that seems endlessly glued to their phones.
So what are we to do? It's time to establish some rules -- for our kids with phones and for ourselves. Everybody's different, but there should be some guidelines for each of us! Let's model what will work best in our families:
* Set aside five minutes in every hour to check for and reply to texts. Don't go over five minutes! Do it at the top of the hour and then don't pull out your phone again until the next hour.
* Do the same for email and Facebook. Except limit it to once or twice a day, and put a cap on the total time.
* Turn your phone off when you are engaging in ANY activity with another human being. Plain and simple. Or if you are expecting an important call, let the other person know, and then only answer that call -- not every text that comes while you're waiting.
* Leave your phone behind. That's right. Keep it at home when you go to your child's play or sporting event. Do you really need it? People survived without them for years and years. Really. They did. It's true, you know!
* Fast from texting, your phone, Facebook or from all electronics for a day...then a week. Try it. Journal about it. See how it changes your life!
* Give it up entirely. Take texting off your phone. Get rid of Facebook. Give up your phone. Whatever it takes to put your relationships back in order. Get what I'm saying? Like anything else, your phone can become an addiction. If it has for you, take action before you lose the things you really love!
Want to read more? Here's the blog post that inspired mine: HOW TO MISS A CHILDHOOD
A T-shirt design from Zazzle.
We got rid of cable/satelite for this same reason. Too much time waisted sitting in front of the tv. Aaron and I didn't even have smart phones until he recently got one so he could check his Army emails while at his state job. I still don't have one. We gave Brennon his old phone. He doesn't use it very often. I don't run to my phone when it beeps, and my family acts like I'm crazy. It is not that important. If it was an emergency, I would have gotten an actual phone call. The only problem is that it beeps every couple of minutes until I check it. I'm sure I can change that in the settings though, because it does get annoying after awhile. I don't really like technology. It definately takes time away from what is important.
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